The Curse of the WWE Royal Rumble Revisited: 2013 Edition

wwe-rumble-curse

For the last few years, we’ve argued that the man who enters the Royal Rumble 14th is cursed. There’s been a history of horror stories connected to the number and 2012’s entry, Jinder Mahal, fared no better. This year, we look back on the last 12 months in the life of 2013’s number 14, Rey Mysterio.

cow-rey-mysterio

Recapping Mysterio’s 2013 is particularly challenging, seeing as the number 14’s particular curse, this year, has been to transform Rey’s entire skeleton into wet tissue paper. The result of this is that, other than tales of hospital visits and laying in bed, there isn’t all that much to talk about. Added together, Mysterio was an active wrestler, in 2013, for about three and a half months. Even his return as a commentator was muted, not because it wasn’t any good, but because it was entirely in Spanish, and most of WWE’s primarily English speaking audience barely noticed.

Other than sitting around, terrified of moving incase he literally shatters into a thousand pieces, Mysterio’s main contribution to wrestling in 2013 was the re-formation of the world’s most fragile tag team. There’s been a long term plan to get Mysterio and Sin Cara to do stuff together because… Mexicans? I guess? Whatever the reasoning, the team was rendered instantly hilarious by the fact that neither man can stand up for more than five minutes without part of their body exploding.

The hilarity has somewhat subsided thanks to that most Mexican of wrestling traditions; swapping wrestlers around and hoping no one notices. Since December, Sin Cara is no longer Mistico who is no longer Mistico, he’s Hunico who is no longer Hunico who is no longer Incognito who is no longer Mistico. Seriously, forget illegal immigration, Zeb Coulter should be rallying against this.

Before Sin Cara (the old Sin Cara, the original Sin Cara) was Sin Cara, he was Mistico. Before Sin Cara (the new Sin Cara, the replacement Sin Cara) was Sin Cara, he was also Mistico, just somewhere else, then he was Mystico, then he was Mistico de Juarez. He was also briefly Sin Cara Negro (the Sin Cara who used to be Mystico that is, not the Sin Cara who used to be Mistico). Here’s hoping the confusing relationship between these two never ends. I fully expect Sin Cara (original, even I’m getting sick of this now) to return with the exact same name and look. Sin Cara de Connecticut perhaps.

It seems to have all worked out for the best though. At least one half of the team can now do stuff, and the new Sin Cara is, as yet, untouched by the curse. However, our previous studies have proven that this particular hex lasts more than twelve months. Maybe Sin Cara should reconsider his alliances before the curse strikes again, like it did against his original namesake. Escape while you can Sin Cara Dos.

Still, Mysterio did at least return from his injuries. He’s not retired, fired or dead, so that means he got of relatively lightly considering some of the other men to share his position. We give this one a 7/10 on the curse-ometer.

CLICK HERE TO READ: The Curse of the WWE Royal Rumble Revisited: 2012 Edition

CLICK HERE TO READ: The Curse of the Royal Rumble IV: How Kevin Nash ruined everything

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