WWE RAW Results: March 18, 2013

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Most Dangerous Game?

Twenty nights before WrestleMania, the 1034th edition of WWE Monday Night RAW came to you, live, from the CONSOL Energy Center in Pittsburgh, PA. After the desecration and disrespect shown towards the late, great Paul Bearer by CM Punk on last week’s RAW, Punk’s WrestleMania opponent, The Undertaker, would be on RAW to address CM Punk and his deplorable actions. After laying waste to the New Age Outlaws, Road Dogg & Billy Gunn, last week, Brock Lesnar, through his representative, Paul Heyman, agreed to face Triple H at WrestleMania, but added the clever caveat that he will only face “The Game” at WrestleMania is Triple H agrees to sign the contract for the match without knowing the stipulation for the match and, on RAW, the COO of the WWE will appear to respond to Brock Lesnar’s challenge. The Intercontinental Championship would be up for grabs on RAW as, in his toughest title defense to date, Wade Barrett would defend the title against two former champions in “The Awesome One” The Miz and the record-breaking nine-time former Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho in a Triple Threat Match.

Match Results

  • John Cena def. Darren Young (with Titus O’Neil) by pin following the Attitude Adjustment.
  • Ryback def. David Otunga by pin following Shell Shocked.
  • R-Truth def. Damien Sandow by intentional count-out.
  • Non-Title: Team Hell No def. Primo & Epico (with AJ Lee) by Kane pinning Epico following the chokeslam.
  • Non-Title: Alberto Del Rio def. Cody Rhodes by submission to the cross armbreaker.
  • The Celtic Vipers def. Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre by Randy Orton pinning Heath Slater following the RKO.
  • Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee & Big E. Langston) def. Kofi Kingston by pin following the Zig Zag.
  • Intercontinental Championship: Triple Threat: Wade Barrett (c) def. The Miz & Chris Jericho by rolling up The Miz to retain.

Detailed Results

Twenty nights before he faces The Rock for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 29, RAW kicks off with John Cena, who tells the fans that they twenty days to “pick a side”. Cena continues, saying that he has a message for all of The Rock fans, declaring that “your time is up, our time is now” and saying that all they have is “right now”. Cena then says that, since the Royal Rumble, he has been on a “wave of momentum” and he vows to not make the same mistake this year that he made last year, saying that he is “focused” and he is ready for WrestleMania. Cena is then interrupted by a bizarre surprise as The Prime Time Players, Darren Young & Titus O’Neil, come out. Sporting an afro wig and wearing a one-piece jumpsuit, Titus O’Neil states that The Prime Time Players are also ready for WrestleMania, saying that Darren in his “nephew” and calling himself, “Rufus ‘Pancake’ Patterson”. Titus explains that they call him “Pancake” because he “flattens fools” and Cena says that Pittsburgh has a storied past in the world of sports, but they are also renowned for their expert doctors who can treat any kind of “multiple personalities”, saying that they can get Titus the “medication” he needs. Titus argues that the only medication that Pittsburgh needs is The Prime Time Players and Darren chimes in that The Prime Time Players put the “E” in “WWE Entertainment”. Cena says that Darren & Titus are funny, but their timing is off, but Titus says that the people do not want to see Cena at WrestleMania, they want to see The Prime Time Players. Still sticking to his character, Titus says that, since Cena is on the Fruity Pebbles box, then his “nephew” should be on a box of “Cocoa Pebbles”. Titus says that Darren has no problem taking on John Cena and Darren adds that, when he is done with Cena, Cena will be “crying” just like Cena did at last year’s WrestleMania. Cena then takes a serious tone, telling Darren that, if Young steps into the ring him, then he will show Darren what it takes to be ready for WrestleMania!

In a match that he actually requested, one-half of The Prime Time Players, Darren Young, with Titus O’Neil, aka Rufus “Pancake” Patterson in his corner, went one-on-one with the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania, John Cena. As expected, John Cena made quick work of Darren Young, putting Darren down with the Attitude Adjustment en route to picking up the win.

After he was laid to waste by The Shield before getting squashed by three World’s Strongest Slams by Mark Henry on SmackDown, the seething “Sin City Cyborg” Ryback would be looking to take out his anger on the Harvard Law graduate, David Otunga, just under three weeks before Ryback joins Sheamus & Randy Orton in combatting The Shield in a 6-Man Tag at WrestleMania. Ryback would dominate David Otunga, hitting Otunga with Shell Shocked en route to picking up the win. After the match, Ryback proclaims that he, Sheamus, and Randy Orton will “tear The Shield apart” at WrestleMania. Ryback also addresses Mark Henry, vowing that he and Mark Henry will cross again before WrestleMania and, when they do, it will be “feeding time”. This brings “The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry out to the staging area, but RAW Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero and the Senior Advisor to SmackDown General Manager Booker T, Theodore Long, stop Mark Henry’s march to the ring. Long warns Mark Henry not to take another step towards the ring before Vickie declares that she is taking Ryback out of the 6-Man Tag Match at WrestleMania! Vickie then explains that, instead of being a part of the 6-Man Tag Match at WrestleMania, Ryback will collide with Mark Henry on “The Grandest Stage of Them All”! This declaration fires Ryback up and “The Sin City Cyborg” sends a clear message to Mark Henry, dropping David Otunga with a second Shell Shocked!

After weeks of backing out of his in-ring debut, “The Dancing Sensation” Fandango would dance his way to the ring, along with his gorgeous dance partner, with much fanfare as Fandango would have the unenviable task of going one-on-one with “The Punjabi Giant” The Great Khali, with Natalya in his corner. Before the match, Fandango tells Khali that he is too “stupid” to pronounce his name correctly, so they should let the “Canadian slice of heaven”, Natalya, try and pronounce his name correctly. However, Natalya sends Khali after Fandango, but Fandango makes a quick escape from the ring, saying that tonight was the night that they “almost” got to see the debut of Fandango.

R-Truth was in action on RAW as Truth went one-on-one with the man who attacked his former tag team partner Kofi Kingston a few weeks ago, “The Intellectual Savior of the Masses” Damien Sandow. During the match, R-Truth looked to be closing in on a victory, but Damien Sandow would quickly leave the ring, opting to take a count-out loss over having to continue the match against R-Truth.

Last week on RAW, CM Punk desecrated the memory of Paul Bearer by assaulting Kane with the legendary urn before leaving with the urn in his possession and, on RAW, Punk’s WrestleMania opponent, The Undertaker, would come to take the urn back! A hush falls over the arena as The Undertaker makes his signature entrance and, once in the ring, Undertaker tells CM Punk that Punk “sealed” his own fate last week when he stole the urn because, at WrestleMania, he is going to “hurt” Punk and he is going to hurt him bad! Undertaker then warns Punk that he has “one chance” to save his own “soul”, telling Punk in no uncertain terms that he wants the urn back. The haunting voice of Paul Bearer then emits throughout the arena, but then CM Punk appears on the TitanTron with the urn, doing an impersonation of the legendary manager. Punk says that Paul Bearer wants The Undertaker to know that Bearer’s death was not just a personal loss, it was a “professional” loss. Punk continues, saying that, if Undertaker gets disqualified or counted out at WrestleMania, he will still lose. Punk then says that The Undertaker may be the “best in the world” at WrestleMania, but he is the “best in the world” every day of the year. Punk continues, saying that he does not look to a higher power, he is the “higher power”. As he tosses the urn around, Punk says that he will walk through hell to end the undefeated streak of The Undertaker at WrestleMania. Punk then accidentally drops the urn, but picks it back up, smiling at The Undertaker and saying “no disrespect intended”.

Having witnessed what just took place between CM Punk and his brother The Undertaker, the emotionally distraught Kane and his tag team partner, Daniel Bryan, were in action on RAW as the WWE Tag Team Champions faced Primo & Epico, with Rosa Mendes in their corner, in a non-title match. In the middle of the match, the ex-girlfriend of Kane & Daniel Bryan, as well as the current girlfriend of Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee skips out to ringside, prancing around the ring. While this gets the intended result of Kane being distracted, the distraction would ultimately fail as Kane plants Epico with the chokeslam en route to picking up the win for Team Hell No.

Backstage, an interview with Chris Jericho is halted when Fandango arrives on the scene, trying to get Jericho to correctly pronounce his name, but Jericho mocks Fandango by calling him countless names, including “Fan-Dodge Durango”. Fandango is enraged by Jericho’s humor and vows to make Jericho pronounce his name correctly.

With his World Heavyweight Title defense against Jack Swagger at WrestleMania just a few weeks away, the World Heavyweight Champion was in action on RAW as Alberto Del Rio, with Ricardo Rodriguez in his corner, went one-on-one with Cody Rhodes in a non-title match. At the end of a hard-fought match, it was Alberto Del Rio locking in the cross armbreaker, forcing Cody Rhodes to tap out to pick up the win. Immediately after the match, Jack Swagger would rush the ring, blasting Alberto Del Rio from behind, stomping away at Del Rio, but Ricardo Rodriguez would enter the ring, jumping on Swagger’s back. Swagger would toss Rodriguez to the outside, but the distraction would allow Del Rio to recover as the World Heavyweight Champion takes it to the #1 Contender, tossing Swagger into the ringside barricade. With Swagger down, Del Rio would spot Zeb Colter nearby and Del Rio would get his hands on Colter, ready to silence “The Founding Father”, but, luckily for Colter, Swagger would take Del Rio down. Swagger then tosses the champion into the steel ring steps before hurling Del Rio over the announce table! Swagger was not through, however, as Swagger would spot Ricardo Rodriguez struggling to get to his feet at ringside and Swagger would grab Rodriguez’s ankle, twisting and torqueing the ankle with the Patriot Lock, leaving Rodriguez screaming and writhing in pain on the floor. Del Rio then rushes to his friend’s aid as doctors and EMT’s tend to Rodriguez, putting a protective cast on Rodriguez and rolling the personal ring announcer out of the arena on a stretcher. It would later be revealed that Jack Swagger did break the ankle of Ricardo Rodriguez.

The latest inductee into the 2013 WWE Hall of Fame was announced on RAW as six-time former World Champion, the entertaining, trail-blazing master of the Spin-a-rooni Booker T will join Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Donald Trump, Bob Backlund, & Bruno Sammartino as inductees on April 6 at Madison Square Garden!

With Ryback no longer on their team for the 6-Man Tag Match against The Shield at WrestleMania, “The Viper” Randy Orton & “The Celtic Warrior” Sheamus were in action on RAW as The Celtic Vipers squared off against two-thirds of 3MB, Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre, with Jinder Mahal in their corner. In the end, it was Randy Orton hitting the RKO on Heath Slater en route to picking up the win for himself and Sheamus. After the match, the three members of The Shield would arrive through the crowd as Orton & Sheamus anxiously wait for the trio to try and take them out. However, the mood of The Shield would change with the arrival of “The World’s Largest Athlete” Big Show, who joins Orton & Sheamus in the ring as the three former World Champions stand tall together! This would make The Shield think twice about their intended attack as Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Roman Reigns retreat through the crowd. As Sheamus & Orton look at Big Show with uncertainty, Big Show steps forward, pointing at the WrestleMania sign and looking back at The Celtic Vipers, letting his intentions be known to be the new teammate of Orton & Sheamus at WrestleMania!

“Mr. Money-in-the-Bank” was in action on RAW as Dolph Ziggler, with AJ Lee & Big E. Langston in his corner, went one-on-one with Kofi Kingston. During the match, Kofi Kingston would climb to the top rope, but AJ Lee would distract the referee and, when Kofi tries to take out Big E. Langston, Langston knocks Kofi out of the air as Kofi crashes to the arena floor! Dolph Ziggler then picks the scraps of his entourage’s handiwork, hitting Kofi with the Zig Zag en route to picking up the win. After the match, Kane & Daniel Bryan come out as Bryan congratulates Dolph on getting him and Kane back on the same page. Kane then says that he is “not in a good place” right now before saying that everyone has seen what Big E. Langston can do outside of the ring, but they should see what Langston can do in the ring. Kane then challenges Dolph Ziggler & Big E. Langston to a tag match, which Langston likes the idea of, but Dolph wants no part of it. It was AJ Lee who would make the decision for her boyfriend and their bodyguard as AJ says that Dolph & Langston will face Team Hell No, but only if Kane & Daniel Bryan put the WWE Tag Team Titles on the line and only if they have the match at WrestleMania! Both Kane & Daniel Bryan wastes no time in accepting the terms, chanting “yes” at AJ, Dolph, & Langston!

Then it was time for the much-anticipated Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship as Wade Barrett would make his toughest title defense to date as Barrett would defend against “The Awesome One” The Miz and the record-breaking nine-time former Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho with the first man to score a pinfall or submission walking out as the Intercontinental Champion! At the end of an incredible hard-fought match, The Miz looked poised to regain the Intercontinental Title, but after Miz puts Chris Jericho down with the Skull Crushing Finale, Wade Barrett would spot his opportunity as Barrett catches Miz with a roll-up, pinning Miz to successfully retain the Intercontinental Title!

Then it was time for the official contract signing for the WrestleMania 29 match between “The Game” Triple H and “The Beast” Brock Lesnar where Triple H would either refuse to sign the contract making the match official or sign the contract not knowing the stipulation that Lesnar has in store for their match. Triple H makes his way to the ring first, followed by Brock’s representative, Paul Heyman, who has a security team to back him up. Triple H says that he would have thought Brock would have faced him in person after Triple H busted him open a couple of weeks ago. Heyman then tells Triple H that “The Game” has two choices as Triple H can opt not to sign the contract and disappoint all of the fans who are looking forward to the match at WrestleMania or Triple H can sign the contract and get his shot at Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania without knowing the stipulations that Brock has in mind for the match. Heyman continues, saying that he does not want Triple H to take his aggression out on him and that is why he hired his own security force. Triple H gestures to Heyman’s three-man security team, sarcastically saying that, in true Paul Heyman fashion, Heyman spared “no expense”. Heyman then states that Brock has already signed the contract and, only after Triple H signs the contract, will he tell Triple H what the stipulation is that he and Brock have in mind. Triple H corrects Heyman, saying that Heyman forgot the part where he signs the contract without giving a “crap” about the stipulation and then kicks Brock’s ass at WrestleMania, demanding that Heyman hand over the contract!

However, Paul Heyman opts to drag things out, saying that he wants to take the time to enjoy the moment. Heyman then shows the footage from three weeks ago on RAW where Triple H made his return to RAW, lacing Brock’s head wide open and taking it to Lesnar in a brutal brawl. Heyman asks Triple H how they could top the brawl from three weeks ago. Heyman then walks everyone through the ideas that he and Brock discussed, bringing up the potential of having Triple H blindfolded at WrestleMania or having his arms and legs shackled. Heyman claims, however, that in either of those cases, Triple H would have an excuse as to why he lost to Lesnar. Heyman then reveals that Brock allowed him to make the final decision on what the stipulation placed on the match would be. Heyman then proposes the deplorable idea that the winner of the match between Triple H and Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania would win the prize of Triple H’s wife, Stephanie McMahon! Heyman continues to push “The Game”, suggesting that getting Stephanie would be the prize for the “loser” of the match! As expected, Triple H would not stand for Paul Heyman’s disrespect of his wife as “The Game” grabs hold of Heyman, pummeling Heyman until the security guards pull Triple H off of Heyman. Triple H then dismantle the security force with ease, sending two of them out of the ring before the third opts to retreat. Triple H then continues his destruction of Heyman, grabbing Heyman by the ponytail and slamming his face into the table set up in the ring. Heyman then lays Heyman on the table, ripping the shirt open of Heyman and slapping Heyman’s chest.

Triple H then says that, since he knows that Lesnar will not come out there until he signs the contract, then he is going to take his time in destroying Heyman! “The Game” then repeatedly slaps Heyman across the face and, as Heyman screams for Brock to help him, Triple H exposes Heyman’s chest before putting the contract on Heyman’s chest and signing it, making the match official before stabbing Heyman in the chest with the pen, telling Heyman to go call his “monster”, tossing Heyman out of the ring and slamming an office chair on Heyman’s back! Brock then comes out, spitting and screaming with a steel chair in hand! The irate Lesnar then marches towards the ring, but, meanwhile, Triple H turns the table over and produces his signature sledgehammer, daring Brock to enter the ring! Lesnar tosses his weapon at Triple H, but, at Heyman’s behest, Brock does not enter the ring. When Lesnar & Heyman safely make it to the staging area, Heyman says that the beating he just endured was “worth it” to get Triple H to sign the contract. Heyman then drops the bombshell that the match between Triple H and Brock Lesnar will have no disqualifications, no count-outs, and no way for the match to be concluded without a pinfall or submission as their match at WrestleMania will be No Holds Barred! However, that was not all as what Heyman said next changed the mood of everyone in the arena and especially Triple H as Heyman reveals that, when Triple H faces Lesnar at WrestleMania in a No Holds Barred Match, Triple H’s career will be on the line!

What did you think of this week’s RAW? Post your comments in the box below.

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