WWE RAW Results: May 14, 2012

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Laurinaitis is pucked.

Six nights before Over The Limit, the 990th edition of WWE Monday Night RAW came to you, live, from the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh, PA. Two weeks after having his arm broken courtesy of the Kimura Lock by Brock Lesnar, WWE Chief Operating Officer Triple H returns to RAW to address the attack, as well as Brock quitting the WWE, via Paul Heyman, last week. Speaking of assaults, the borderline psychotic RAW & SmackDown General Manager John Laurinaitis will come face-to-face with the man he faces this Sunday at Over The Limit, John Cena. As seen on Friday’s SmackDown, John Laurinaitis screwed Big Show during Show’s match against Daniel Bryan and, on RAW, the General Manager will force “The World’s Largest Athlete” to apologize, to his face, in the middle of the ring.

Match Results

  • CM Punk & Santino Marella def. Daniel Bryan & Cody Rhodes by CM Punk pinning Cody Rhodes following the GTS.
  • Beth Phoenix def. Alicia Fox by pin with the Glam Slam.
  • Kane (with John Laurinaitis) def. Big Show by pin following a chokeslam.
  • 6-Man Tag: Brodus Clay, R-Truth, & Kofi Kingston def. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger by Brodus Clay pinning The Miz following the Funkasplash.
  • Chris Jericho def. Randy Orton by DQ after Sheamus interferes.

Detailed Results

The show kicks off with WWE COO Triple H arriving in the arena, complete with a mechanical arm brace to protect his broken arm. However, the COO is confronted by RAW & SmackDown General Manager John Laurinaitis, who tells Triple H that he had no idea that Brock Lesnar would attack him two weeks ago and he was just as surprised as everyone else. The GM continues that Triple H would not have wanted him to pull Brock off of the COO because Triple H wanted to fight Lesnar “like a man”, saying that it was “painful” to watch Triple H be “humiliated” and have his arm broken by Lesnar. Laurinaitis then asks if Triple H has anything to say, but the COO says he will say what he has to say in the middle of the ring before wishing Laurinaitis “good luck” in the GM’s match against John Cena this Sunday.

For the first time since his arm was broken by Brock Lesnar on RAW two weeks ago, WWE Chief Operating Officer and thirteen-time World Champion “The Game” Triple H makes his way to the ring. Triple H says that he has had worse done to him in his career, but he is offended by what Brock Lesnar had to say when Brock told the world that he was going to bring “legitimacy” back to the WWE. Triple H sarcastically states that, when he was going one-on-one with The Undertaker inside Hell in a Cell at WrestleMania, all he could think about was how he wished someone would come along and make the match “legitimate”. The COO continues that Brock’s “stupidity” offends him and it also offends the likes of The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, and every person who has ever stepped into a WWE ring. Triple H then says that it offends him as a “fan” and he will always be a fan of the WWE. Triple H then admits that he was slightly embarrassed, but not because Lesnar attacked him from behind and broke his arm, it was because he bought into Brock’s “crap”. The COO continues that, in 2002, he met a “farm boy” named Brock Lesnar with “god-given ability” and Lesnar rocketed to the top of the WWE. Triple H says that, when Brock actually had to fight, Lesnar decided to “quit” and go to the UFC and used his talents to ascend to the top of the UFC, but when it was not so easy for Lesnar, he quit the UFC and returned to the WWE. Triple H continues that, when Brock returned to the WWE, he saw John Cena and thought he could dominate Cena, but then Cena fought back and defeated Lesnar. The COO says that, when Lesnar was told “no” two weeks ago and things were not easy anymore, Lesnar quit again.

WWE COO Triple H is then interrupted by the arrival of the legal representation for Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman, as Heyman makes his way to the ring with an unknown individual. Heyman tells the COO that Triple lost the “biggest star” before saying that Triple H “illegally” ripped up the new contract. Heyman continues that Triple H brought a “fighter to an entertainment company”, but then he does not like it when Brock wants to fight. Heyman says that Triple H does not “get” Brock and he does not “get” the seriousness of the situation before Heyman has the man standing next to him hand the COO a summons, telling Triple H that he has been “served”. Heyman explains that Brock Lesnar is suing the WWE for the “millions of dollars” that the WWE owes Brock, adding that Brock wants Triple H to know that Brock is “very disappointed” about the way things have turned out. Heyman continues that, on a personal note, Brock expected so much more from Triple H because Lesnar expected a fight, but instead, Brock got a “sniveling, conniving, corporate sycophant who has not lived up the hype that has surrounded him for all these years”! Heyman says that he is “glad” that Brock broke Triple H’s left arm since the COO will need the right arm to write a check to Brock Lesnar. Triple H then grabs Heyman by the face, but the COO backs off, throws the summons at Heyman and tells the legal representation that Brock Lesnar will get everything that Brock deserves. Triple H then leaves the ring, but Heyman shouts after the COO that “The Game” will have another lawsuit to deal with for putting his hands on him and he will see Triple H in court!

With his title defense against Daniel Bryan at Over The Limit looming, the WWE Champion was in action in the opening match of the night as CM Punk teamed with United States Champion Santino Marella to face the #1 Contender for the WWE Title, Daniel Bryan, and Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes in tag team action. During the match, Daniel Bryan would leave Cody Rhodes to fend for himself, which leads to CM Punk hitting the GTS on Cody Rhodes en route to picking up the win for himself and Santino Marella.

Six nights before she challenges Layla for the Divas Title at Over The Limit, “The Glamazon” Beth Phoenix went one-on-one with Alicia Fox on RAW. During the match, Divas Champion Layla makes her way to the staging area. With a smile on her face, Beth Phoenix hits the Glam Slam on Alicia Fox en route to pinning Alicia Fox in a dominant display. After the match, “The Glamazon” was set to do further damage to Alicia Fox, but Layla rushes down and takes Beth Phoenix down, sending Phoenix from the ring.

It was announced during RAW that, during this Sunday’s Over The Limit pre-show that will air exclusively on WWE.com, YouTube, and Facebook, “The Long Island Iced Z” Zack Ryder will go one-on-one with the monster that destroyed him back in February, “The Big Red Monster” Kane.

With his legal advisor, David Otunga, back at his side, RAW & SmackDown General Manager John Laurinaitis took a seat at ringside to watch the man he may fire, depending on the acceptance of his apology, “The World’s Largest Athlete” Big Show as Show went one-on-one with “The Big Red Monster” Kane. In the middle of the match, John Laurinaitis demands his apology from Big Show, which distracts Big Show long enough for Kane to take advantage, hitting the chokeslam on Big Show en route to picking up the win.

After the match, John Laurinaitis and David Otunga enter the ring as the General Manager tells Big Show to get up and face him like a man. Show gets to his feet as the GM tells Big Show that he is not going to take it from Show and he wants an apology and, if it is not good enough, he will fire Big Show. Show tells Laurinaitis that he broke into the business at the age of 23 when he joined WCW and wrestling has been his life ever since. Show continues that there is a part of him that would allow him to walk away with his head held high, but the truth of the matter is that he “loves” what he does. An emotional Big Show says that he lives to see the looks on kids’ faces when he makes his way to the ring. Show then pleads with Laurinaitis to not take away what he has loved to do for eighteen years. Show tells the GM that Laurinaitis can fine him, ban him from ever competing for a title again, but if his impersonation of Laurinaitis offended the GM, then he is sorry. Show then says that, if there is an “ounce of decency” in Laurinaitis, then the GM will let him continue to do what he is passionate about. Laurinaitis claims that Big Show did not say he was sorry because the fans in the cheap seats and the locker room did not hear him. Big Show says he is sorry again, but Laurinaitis says that Show will have to prove that he means it by getting on his knees and begging for his job! Big Show finds it difficult to put his pride aside and nearly does it, but the extremely emotional giant says he will beg Laurinaitis, but do not make him get on his knees to do it. Without an ounce of emotion, Laurinaitis tells Big Show that Show “disgusts” him and so do Show’s fans and he is going to what is “right for business” because he always does what is right for business before saying that will re-consider firing him. Laurinaitis then gets to the staging area before saying that he has re-considered it and the GM is ready to fire Big Show, but the broken giant gets on his knees and apologizes for making fun of Laurinaitis’ voice, screaming if Laurinaitis is “happy now”. The General Manager says that he is not happy and then, with a smile on his face, Laurinaitis wishes Big Show well on his future endeavors, firing Big Show and ending the eighteen-year career of the passionate and irreplaceable “World’s Largest Athlete”.

“The Funkasaurus” was in action on RAW as Brodus Clay, with Cameron & Naomi in his corner, would team with WWE Tag Team Champions R-Truth & Kofi Kingston to face the team of The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger, with Vickie Guerrero in their corner, in a 6-Man Tag Match. In the end, it was Kofi Kingston hitting Trouble in Paradise on The Miz and Brodus Clay following it up with the Funkasplash en route to picking up the win for himself and the WWE Tag Team Champions.

Backstage, the ex-boyfriend of Daniel Bryan, A.J., confronts WWE Champion CM Punk as the unbalanced Diva wishes Punk luck against Bryan. The WWE Champion tells A.J. that he has known Daniel Bryan for several years and he does not really “trust” Bryan, saying that A.J. talking to him could be some sort of setup, calling A.J. “unstable” before walking away.

With World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus a guest on commentary, two of the four participants in the Fatal 4-Way Match for the World Heavyweight Title at Over The Limit were in action as “The Viper” Randy Orton went one-on-one with six-time World Champion Chris Jericho. During the match, the action spills to the outside of the ring where Chris Jericho intentionally throws Randy Orton into Sheamus at ringside! Shortly after this, Randy Orton is ready to deliver the RKO to Chris Jericho, but Sheamus pulls Jericho out of the ring, taking Jericho down on the outside, giving Jericho the win via disqualification. After the match, an argument between Orton and Sheamus leads to the two Superstars ready to go head-to-head in the middle of the ring, but several referees rush to the ring to keep the two of them separated!

After promising an announcement that will change the future of the WWE forever, RAW & SmackDown General Manager John Laurinaitis appears on RAW, saying that he is “sorry” if John Cena is their favorite Superstar because that makes each one of them a “loser” because Cena is a “loser”. Laurinaitis continues that Cena lost to The Rock at WrestleMania and was made to look like a loser at Extreme Rules before the GM makes the ridiculous proclamation that he is “better than The Rock and Brock combined”. Laurinaitis then says that, if there were not losers like them, then there would not be winners like him.

John Laurinaitis is then interrupted by his Over The Limit opponent, John Cena, who is no longer wearing the sling on his arm. Cena says that, after Laurinaitis fired Big Show, he became the “undisputed king of douchebaggery”. Cena then disputes Laurinaitis’ claim of being a “winner”, saying that, while his team won at WrestleMania, Laurinaitis did “nothing”. Cena continues that Laurinaitis wanted CM Punk removed as the WWE Champion, but that did not work out before saying that the GM’s crowning achievement, Brock Lesnar, lost at Extreme Rules and quit last week. Graciously giving Laurinaitis credit for his team winning at WrestleMania, Cena says that the GM is “one and four”, which makes Laurinaitis a “loser”. Cena says that Laurinaitis will be a loser at Over The Limit because Laurinaitis has stepped all over everyone and the GM should not be proclaiming “people power”, he should be proclaiming “person power” since Laurinaitis only cares about himself. Cena continues that Laurinaitis has “no concept of reality” before, in honor of the Pittsburgh Penguins, Cena tells Laurinaitis to “go puck yourself”. Laurinaitis tells Cena that Cena is bothered by the GM being taller than Cena and “better looking” than Cena.

As Laurinaitis tells Cena that he can make a match, change a match, or add a stipulation to a match, Laurinaitis’ Executive Administrator, Eve, makes her way to the ring. Laurinaitis tries to wave Eve off, but she does not leave until handing Laurinaitis a piece of paper. Cena snatches the document away and reveals to the world that it is from the WWE Board of Directors to John Laurinaitis. Cena reads on as the Board of Directors rules that the match between Cena and Laurinaitis will be a one-on-one match, there will no special referee, no one is allowed at ringside, the only ways to win are by pinfall or submission, and any Superstar that interferes in the match will be “immediately terminated”. Cena then gets to the big news of the letter as Cena reveals that, if Laurinaitis loses to Cena at Over The Limit, then Laurinaitis will be “officially terminated”! The General Manager is set to leave the ring, but Cena stops him to ask what Laurinaitis’ big announcement was going to be, but the GM just slaps Cena across the face before leaving the ring! With his firing almost a certainty come Over The Limit, is there any chance at all that John Laurinaitis will be employed after this Sunday?

What did you think of this week’s RAW SuperShow? Post your comments in the box below.

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