The Redman Report: WWE Raw 24/10/11: Next week, The Muppets. This week, the Clampetts.

I’m baaaaack! After missing most of TV for the last few weeks, I was finally home today to see Raw again, so we’re back in business. And what a…well, an interesting show this was…

Time to play the Game! Never, ever change Double Double E. But seriously, his promo was, well, it was fine. It was a Hunter Opens the Show Promo, so it was fine, and it was even finer if you do what I did, which is just not listen since its the same Hunter Opens the Show Promo I’ve heard every week for the last 3 months. Its kind of amusing that the irony of him spending 20 minutes saying that he doesnt want to waste time talking about stuff still eludes him.

The first Nash attack on the ramp was predictable, but I actually kind of enjoyed the second part, even if just for the laughs. I always love the absurdity of pro wrestling EMTs being so medically negligent, this time by taking a guy suspected of a spinal injury after a sledgehammer shot and just roughly lifting him to his feet to walk it off. Hunter collapsing backstage was pretty funny. “Does he have a pulse?” – hilarious. And the paramedics letting go of Hunter’s board letting him slide to the floor was straight out of Get Smart or something. A wonderful comedy of errors, this was. But hey, lets be real, a comedy of errors was more entertaining than trying to treat this as a serious angle. So, enjoyed.

This SD tag sounds like a hell of a match, but its one of those times where I’ve seen these guys wrestle each other like five thousand times in the last month, and every single time the babyfaces are stars and the heels are geeks, so do I really need to see #5,001? Man, I sound incredibly cranky so far when I dont mean to be. Its actually nice to be able to watch Raw again.

And anyway, this was a pretty fun tag. Its the exact same match we’ve seen five thousand times already, but it was still good stuff. Finishing stretch in particular was really fun, and well saved from the botch. And of course, the faces are stars, the heels are geeks, so obviously that means both Cody and Christian will have ANOTHER rematch with their respective nemeses, because I guess losing cleanly five thousand times in a month to a guy calls for a rematch, just to make sure. Thats probably going to be the title of Christian’s DVD bio.

Santino looks so strange with a normal haircut. This is the first time he’s had one his entire WWE career. This was a fun 2 minutes with some Santino comedy and Dolph…Dolphing, but its so clear at this point that Dolph is amazing and needs some serious momentum that wasting him on Mason Ryan is ridiculous. I mean, I dont even blame WWE, because Ryan ran in and my father immediately went “WOAH, who is that guy?!” So I mean, the physique works. But it only works as a visual, and Ryan is terrible beyond that and is nowhere near ready for a title run, and putting him over Dolph at this point would be madness.

I liked Zack getting the spot and freaking out, but announcing the name this early only means he’s getting taken out before the match.

Alberto’s battle with his scarf was funny. A comedy of errors, this show. Anyway, hearing a promo announcing that Cena is out of the title picture, and it being true, sure is something to behold. Punk was relatively good here, considering his last few months, although making such an effort to point out that Punk lost at the PPV and wants a title shot, without explaining it, was weird. Ace was awful, I’ve no idea why they decided that he needs to be in long conversations, he’s terrible at it. He also made no sense. But as a vehicle for Punk to be Punk again, I can take it.

Boobs! And the show picks up. After her abomination on Smackdown last week I was glad to see Beth back in A Dress. She’s fun talking too. Alicia losing ‘Hot in Herre’ is no buys, but she was actually pretty good in this match. Usually she’s too Gumby that her matches suffer, but here she made it work. Finish was lame though, the Boobs really need to not be rolled up and pinned every match. I hope we get some sort of Divas SS match, although there’s a question as to who is on the Boobs’ team. There’s only really the Bellas who can side with them.

I actually really enjoyed Barrett vs Morrison as a throw-away, dead segment match. Morrison, as can clearly be seen in his role as a jobber, is a hell of a bumper, and Barrett tossing him around like a dick was fun. I laughed at another botched finish almost exactly like the one in the first match, and again, it was well saved. Barrett needs something to do, like, yesterday.

F*CK Cole. See, this is why I hate wrestling, because for a week I will carry a glimmer of hope that they’ll stop Cole announcing, and then next week he will win and be his usual self, times a thousand, and we get to endure another JR humiliation for our troubles, and…f*ck Cole.

Speaking of which, f*ck Twitter.

Wow, what do you know, Zack gets taken out. I like the re-casting of Awesome Truth as badass outsider heels, but at the same time it makes Truth’s promos less funny, which is a shame. Match was whatever, and I missed the finish. I can only imagine it was some kind of DQ.

I like the lightbulb blinking when Cena said “I can choose anyone?” and the crowd knew what was coming, which also helped make it work. But man, Cena slobbering on the mic just killed any seriousness they had. A wonderfully apropos blooper to cap off a night of bloopers. But all the same, not a bad show either.

Tags

  • The entire COO/Conspiracy storyline on Raw has gotten to the point where it is no longer entertaining nor does it make any logical sense. Hopefully WWE decides to end it soon, and move on to something better.

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