WWE TLC 2013 Preview

Sure some people call TLC a “B” PPV, but tonight could quite possibly be the most important night in recent WWE history. The night we’ve all been screaming for ever since the brands originally split. It’s title unification night! GET HYPED!!

wwe-tlc-2013-poster

I’m in a little bit of shock. See, I wasn’t overly keen on TLC during the last couple of weeks of build. Sure they were gonna have a title unification which should be big news, but it didn’t really feel like it was a big deal, y’know? Well, until Monday night. Because good gravy did that ending segment ever blow my socks off. EVERYTHING about it was phenomenal and it instantly reignited my interest in this whole PPV. So many questions sprang up from that segment that await being answered tonight, it actually means that for once I genuinely can’t wait to see the outcome of a John Cena vs. Randy Orton match. When was the last time THAT happened? We’ve got some other wacky stuff going on tonight, but let’s be honest, it’s the main event we’re really bothered about, isn’t it?

Kick-Off Match
Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

I don’t know what to make of this? Since the titles are being unified tonight, does that explain why so many people have been seemingly moved away from the main event scene? Dolph lost his title and then dropped off the title radar completely, Sandow cashed in the briefcase and immediately cashed back out and down to…well, we’ll get to that later. Are WWE trying to redress the balance? Is the unification going to mean we’re heading back to where the Intercontinental title is the 2nd title for the up and comers to fight for and impress the bigwigs to prove they’re ready for the Main Event? Because honestly, I’d be all for that.

So, what to make of this match? Well first “lol” at The Miz. Relegated from Kick-Off Show matches to the panel. As for the match, it’s just kinda thrown together, isn’t it? There’s nothing here to really comment about? They’re both competent enough, and there’s even the potential for them to quite a nice little fast paced opening match on for the crowd. There’s just no cause for it and no consequence from it. In a night where it’s all about the big picture in the WWE this is probably going to be an easily forgotten bit of fluff.

Who I want to win: Dolph. Without wanting to sound like a whingy internet fanboy (I know, right) I’m itching for him to start getting places again.

Who I think will win: Dolph probably, but it’s not gonna matter a jot in the grand scheme of things.

Divas Championship Match
AJ Lee © vs. Natalya

So according to WWE because I still refuse to watch Total Divas, I don’t have the whole scoop on this match. Well I’ll admit WWE, I don’t have the whole scoop. I don’t even have half a scoop. I have no real idea what’s going on in any of the Divas division right now, other than half of them are on Total Divas, because that’s all that seems to be mentioned on all other WWETV right now. Total Divas mentions are now getting to the annoying point of “trending now” and “WWE app” where I’m starting blank them out as white noise. Unfortunately that means that I’m missing out on pretty much everything that happens with regards to the ladies. I couldn’t even tell you what’s going on with AJ other than Tamina’s her bodyguard. Just because the ladies have another TV show is no reason to get even lazier with the Divas storylines.

Who I want to win: I guess it’d be nice if Natty bagged the title again, but no doubt it’ll all end up aired on Total Divas so I’d miss most of it anyways.

Who I think will win: AJ, hopefully.

Intercontinental Championship Match
Big E. Langston © vs. Damien Sandow

Okay, so Sandow lost his cash-in match and went straight into an IC Title feud? Sounds like more potential evidence to say the IC title is going to go back to being the equivalent of the WHC. Which again, I’m all for.

Actually, I’m quite liking the new aggressive Damien Sandow. Although I’m not liking that his new “You’re Welcome” finisher is too similar to Aiden English’s “Take a Bow” for them ever to exist in the same world…unless they were on the same team, and the idea of Aiden English and Damien Sandow teaming together excites me too much to even think about it right now. Unnf.

And how about Big E as champion? I think it’s a good look for him. The guy’s been impressive in the ring, and on the mic from even before he won the title. I’m thinking there’s a lot we haven’t seen from Big E. Langston yet and I’m looking forward to seeing how his reign progresses.

Who I want to win: Big E. And I’m still holding out hope for the 5 count gimmick to get started.

Who I think will win: Big E. He hasn’t even hit his stride as champion yet, and the crowd seem to be getting onside, let him carry on with the strap.

Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Championship Match
Goldust & Cody Rhodes © vs. Rey Mysterio & Big Show vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel vs. The Real Americans

Ryback & Curtis Axel?! Seriously?! Yeeeugh.

So anyone who knows me, knows that I’m a fan of tag teams. I hate, hate, HATE it when they just randomly throw two guys together in a makeshift team because there’s nothing better for them to do. Granted it has resulted in some great teams (New Age Outlaws and Miz & Morrison are the first two that spring to mind, y’know that time when The Miz was entertaining) but it’s also resulted in some absolute stinkers. Why would I want to see Big Show and Rey Mysterio in a team together (sorry Jimmy Redman)? We need tag teams. Legit, actual, two guys in a team not just randomly thrown together tag teams! Where are The Usos in all of this? Why aren’t they getting a title shot? The only really saving grace here from a tag team perspective are The Real Americans. I’m really getting into the team of Cesaro and Swagger, and I honestly think they’d be a great choice for new tag champs, should they want to switch the belts.

That’s not to take anything away from Cody & Goldust, but we all know their run can’t last forever. I’m just saying that if they do want a team to step up and hold the titles next, then my vote would be for the Real Americans.

Who I want to win: Actually, I’ve talked myself into a Real Americans win. That’d be pretty cool.

Who I think will win: I dunno, with 4 teams in the mix this could go pretty mental, and it totally wouldn’t surprise me to see Ryback and Curtis flippin’ Axel walk out with the belts. I think Cody & Goldust might retain, but I can’t say for sure.

3-on-1 Handicap Match
Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family

What’s the point of this? Seriously. I know they’re “resting” Punk and Bryan at the moment, but the booking of two 3 on 1 handicap matches is just about the laziest, most idiotic booking I’ve seen all year. What’s the point?

Who’s possibly going to end up looking good in this match? If the heels win, then oh wow they’ve managed to beat an outnumbered babyface, big whoop. If the Bryan wins, then he just makes one of the most interesting gimmicks in WWE look ridiculous.

I’d like to find the person at Titan Towers who booked this balls and give him a clip round the ear. I just don’t see any reason why anyone would think booking one of these matches, let alone TWO of them, would be a good idea. And I thought them getting Bryan and Punk to team up for no real reason last month was bad…yikes.

There’s really not much to say about this (or the Punk match) to be honest. It’s a bad idea, and typical WWE knee jerk reactionary booking. WWE don’t have anything for these guys to do right now, because we all know that they can only focus on one thing, which right now happens to be Cena and Orton (again).

Let’s just get the unification out of the way so we can get back to redressing the balance and stopping idiocy like this match happening any more.

Who I want to win: I don’t. It may sound weird, but the best thing that could probably happen here would be the match ending in a no contest. At least that doesn’t make anyone look particularly weak.

Who I think will win: Hmmm, I’d like to think it’ll be Bryan and this is the start of getting him ready to win the rumble, but God knows. Maxx has ruined me over on the TWO Forums by suggesting that the winner of the Rumble is gonna be the Rock so he can fight Cena for the unified title at Wrestlemania (Thrice in a Lifetime?). If that’s the case then I guess the Wyatt’s should win here?

3-on-1 Handicap Match
CM Punk vs. The Shield

Yeah, we’ll book two of these matches on the same card. As if there’s not already enough comparisons being made between the Shield and the Wyatts, let’s have them run pretty much exactly the same, working the same matches, that’s a good idea, right?

NO!! No it’s not. And then there’s the folks who will tell you that this is interesting because they’re building up to the break down of the Shield. I don’t want to see the breakdown of the Shield. Why is it that everytime we get a decent team together, WE insist on breaking them up? But then they’ll happily leave us with Brodus Clay and Sweet T for frickin’ months on end?!

I’m just…yeeesh…I’m getting tired of the ridiculous booking to such a point where it’s actively ruining my enjoyment of WWE. I know I’m usually all about CM Punk matches, and I’m guessing this should be a perfectly proficient match, I just don’t agree with the slapdash thrown together nature of it. That’s all I have to say.

Who I want to win: Surely you’d expect it to be The Shield, unless there’s some miscommunication in the ranks.

Who I think will win: Probably Punk by capitalising on some fallout between Ambrose and Reigns. Because we can’t just have a team work as team can we?

WWE World Championship Unification Match
John Cena © vs. Randy Orton ©

Wow. So we’ve been asking for the titles to be reunited for the last 10 years and when WWE do get around it to it they manage to not make it seem like the big deal it should be. Sure I’m hyped for the fact that we’ll only have one champion for the first time in a long time, but then it’s gonna be either Orton or Cena. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I’m just hoping that we don’t spend the forseeable future just watching Cena and  Orton feuding over the new title. The whole point of this unification should be to start building others towards the main event, but the evidence so far points towards everyone getting pushed away from the Main Event so we’re only focused on Orton and Cena. As long as that trait doesn’t continue we should be fine, but I don’t hold out much hope for WWE being willing to take a punt on anyone other than Orton or Cena.

Maybe I’m being too down on this whole situation, and I may well find myself eating humble pie come January when WWE decide to thrust some new blood into the title scene. But yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it.

As it stands we get to see Orton vs. Cena for the umpteenth time, the only thing different is the distant possibility that Cena could end up working for the Authority. Although, again, I’ll believe that when I see it.

Who I want to win: I dunno. No, sorry, I don’t care. Seriously, I don’t, let’s just get this unification thing over with and we can move on to getting some new main eventers built.

Who I think will win: Probably Cena. With the assistance of The Authority, whether he wants it or not.

So there we have it, by then end of tonight there will only be one upper tier champion in WWE. Only kidding, there’ll probably be a buttload of shenanigans and we’ll end the show no closer to unifying anything. But what were you expecting? Logical well thought out booking? Yeah move along, you won’t be seeing that for a while.

Until next time, I’m off to try and figure out where it all went wrong with the Authority angle. See you soon, and have a Merry Christmas!!

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  • Henry Higgins III

    That was a really good read, but using Tons of Funk as an example when they have started teasing a break-up was a bit odd. Of course, I fully expect Tensai to turn heel along with Brodus and stay together as a monster tag-team (no dancing, just beating people up).

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