WWE Extreme Rules 2012 Preview

So the WrestleMania hangover from my atrocious predictions has finally subsided (18 seconds?! Big Show wins?! TEAM JOHNNY?!! REALLY?!), and we’re heading into a brand new “season” in the WWE. Luckily for us tonight just happens to be the night where the rulebook goes flying out of the window, where anything can happen, and where (from the look of things) John Cena is going to have his a*s handed to him. It’s Extreme Rules time folks, so let’s have a look at what’s gonna be going down…

Divas Championship Match
Nikki Bella © vs. Beth Phoenix

Okay, I was totally suckered in on Monday. I honestly thought Beth Phoenix was injured? Is this just something to put the title on one of the Bellas to stop them leaving? I don’t understand the title change, especially after the fuss they made about Beth being within touching distance of the longest ever women’s title reign?

So I’m assuming Beth is gonna be working hurt (or at least pretending to be). I can’t believe Beth may not actually be injured, because if she’s not that was one hell of a sell job on Monday. Seriously.

I can’t think of much to say about this, because the whole thing is still a bit of a shock to me. Let’s just jump to the predictions here.

Who I want to win: Ummm…I dunno? Is Beth legit injured? If so then it makes sense for Nikki to hold the belt (at least until Layla returns 😛 )

Who I think will win: Again, I really don’t know? Is this some kind of angle? Does Beth need time off to rest? I think Nikki Bella is gonna keep the strap, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t. Maybe expect some twin magic shenanigans.

United States Championship Match
Santino Marella © vs. The Miz

Pre show?! PRE SHOW?! They can’t make another 5-10 minutes on the main show for Santino and Miz to have a match? But then again I guess it is a sly way of advertising the show and hopefully pulling in a few last minute buyers. Still, it does seem a bit rubbish to be leaving Santino and Miz off the main show.

But then again there’s been literally no build for this match. I’m scouring my mind trying to think of why this match is happening, and I’m coming back with nothing. They were on opposite teams at Mania I guess? Although that’s kinda tenuous. Well, really tenuous.

What’s Miz doing recently anyways? I don’t remember seeing him on TV since Mania? I wonder if they’ve got something planned for him, because him taking the US Title would possibly be a path they’re looking to go down?

But on the other hand they’ve kept Santino looking surprisingly strong recently. He’s been picking up a truckload of wins, like, waaaaay more than he ever has done before. Are the WWE getting behind Santino, and are they prepared to push him properly as the United States champion? He’s been working a schedule of 3 minute matches, but I’m a firm believer that the midcard titles should be the “workrate” matches of the night, just like they were once upon a time.

Whoever walks out of this with the title, I’d just like to see them defend it more. And preferably for longer than 3 minutes at a time, or as a “freebie” on a pre-show.

Who I want to win: Santino. Just because the guy’s so much fun, and he’s earned a nice lengthy run.

Who I think will win: I think it might be The Miz y’know. Looks like they’ve kept him off TV for the month to refresh the character slightly, and I’m assuming here that creative finally has something for him. And let’s face it, the last time Miz was anywhere near interesting was during his run as US champion and his tangles with Daniel Bryan. And I guess there was a case to be made for my interest in that being based mostly on the fact Daniel Bryan was finally on TV, but nevertheless it wouldn’t surprise me to see Miz leaving as US Champ through some nefarious means.

Intercontinental Championship Match
(Roulette Wheel Decides the Stipulation)
Big Show © vs. Cody Rhodes

In the immortal words of Booker T “Spin the wheel, and make the deal!” (I think there may have been a “DAWG!” in there somewhere?)

So yeah, we don’t know what the stipulation is going to be for this match until the show starts. Which doesn’t leave me a whole lot to write about…damn.

Okay, so Show finally got his retribution at WrestleMania, he’s not an embarrassment or a choke artist after all. What I want to see now is Cody’s revenge, and him getting the IC Title back around his waist. Let’s be honest, Show doesn’t need it. I know I covered this in the Mania preview, but the IC Title benefits up and comers way more than it’s likely to benefit a guy who’s most likely to start winding down his career soon.

I think the stipulation is gonna be the key here. Part of me is kinda hoping it’s a ladder match, so Show can do his “HUGE A*S LADDER” spot. But since this is gonna be a match with some kind of “extreme” rules, then you have to think this is how Cody stands a chance of regaining his title.

Who I want to win: Cody Rhodes. I’m still high on Cody, but he needs to get a finish to this feud and move onto the next thing.

Who I think will win: This all kinda depends on the stip that comes out, but I’m definitely edging more towards Cody for this too.

Fall Count Anywhere Match
Kane vs. Randy Orton

Oh look, yet another prediction I got wrong at WrestleMania. Seriously though, who saw Kane actually winning? You know what though, I’m still not into this feud in the slightest. The highlight of the whole thing for me was Paul Bearer popping up last week, and his little “Oh nooooooo” as Kane pushed him back into the freezer.

This feud has just completely washed over me as a grey wave of boredom. I can’t find any reason to get behind either of these guys and want them to beat the other. They do have fun brawls, but all the talking in between just kills me.

I’m hoping this is the blow off match, so we they just go out and do what they do best (knock seven bells out of each other), and then they can both move on to new angles hopefully, because this one is doing nothing for me.

Who I want to win: Randy Orton. If he gets his win back we can finally lay this feud to rest.

Who I think will win: Orton I reckon. Kane got to “cleanse his demons” at Mania, it makes sense for Randy to get the win in this one.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
(Best of 3 Falls)
Sheamus © vs. Daniel Bryan

Okay everyone, let’s all get this out the way right now so we can get on with the article…

YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!!

Okay, that’s better. So I’m looking forward to this one, fella. A LOT. After my shock and outrage at the WrestleMania squash match, (which, now the smoke had cleared, was actually fantastically played out and led to a great month of TV for both Bryan and Sheamus) I’m super hyped to actually see what these two guys can do with 3 falls and what I’m assuming will be a fair amount of time to work in.

In fact 2 out of 3 falls is the perfect stipulation for this match. It gives the 18 second naysayers the match they were waiting for (and more), and it stands out from the rest of the card as being the “pure” wrestling match of the evening. I’m pegging my Match of the Night prediction on this little beauty.

What’s going to be the outcome though? Who’s going to leave as champion? Well I think there’ one wildcard in the whole situation that could affect the outcome of this whole match. AJ.

I LOVE AJ at the moment. The whole slipping out since she’s been dumped. Just flailing away at Natalia last week, then slapping the taste out of her best friend’s mouth this week? Genius. Especially how she looks so shocked with herself afterwards. I’m a big, big fan of this young lady right now. Since she obviously still loves D Bryan, what exactly is AJ prepared to do to get her man back?

I’m willing to bet that she’d quite happily make sure Bryan left with the title tonight if it meant she had her favourite bearded vegan back in her arms. Mark my words, AJ could well be the difference maker in this one.

Or I could be well wrong (again) and this could all be over in les than a minute. It wouldn’t be the first time WWE intentionally trolled us all, would it? 😛

Who I want to win: Is Daniel Bryan the man I want to leave Extreme Rules as WORLD! HEAVYWEIGHT! CHAMPION! (I think we all know what’s coming next) YES!! YES!! YES!!

Who I think will win: I really do believe AJ is gonna cost Sheamus the match to win Bryan back. I know it’s kinda outlandish, but it seems plausible enough to me?

WWE Championship Match
(Chicago Streetfight)
CM Punk © vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah, let’s go to Chicago and take on CM Punk in a Streetfight. Jericho you idiot.

Man, I’m reeeeeally looking forward to this. It’s a close call between this and Bryan/Sheamus for my most anticipated match at Extreme Rules. This one has “going off” written all over it, I’m expecting this match to be all kinds of crazy.

Let’s take a look at this shall we. Jericho came back and gobbed off at Punk for being a phony, a wannabe, and nowhere near being Best in the World. Punk knocks his a*s out at Elimination Chamber, and survives from first til last, retaining his championship (like a boss).

Jericho is all “yeah, well, you snuck up on me so it doesn’t count. Let’s see who the best in the world is at WrestleMania”. So Punk makes him tap like a little b*tch for his troubles.

So now Jericho decides he needs to get under Punk’s skin and drops the Alcoholic bomb. Sand his sister had drug abuse issues, Punk’s a bast*rd with a mother of questionable morals, yadda, yadda, yadda. And our champion is not impressed with this. No siree. So it is decided that the two men will meet in a Chicago Streetfight, in the WWE Champion’s hometown, in front of friends of Punk (Hi Colt Cabana!), and most importantly the family members that Jericho has hurled slights and accusations at.

Surely I’m not the only one who thinks that there is no way on Earth that Jericho is going to win this match? It just can’t happen, regardless of whether WWE like making people look a bit dumb in their hometown. Remember Money in the Bank last year? Remember how hyped that crowd was? Well I’m hoping that’s the kind of level of support you’re gonna be looking at tonight. Hopefully tonight is the making of CM Punk, the cementing of his title reign, and finally the time to bin the spinner title in favour of something a bit more suitable.

Who I want to win: You know as well as I do that I will only ever answer CM PUNK!! CM PUNK!! CM PUNK!!

Who I think will win: As I say, this should realistically be the cementing of Punk’s reign as WWE Champion in front of a home crowd that should go nuts for him when he gets the win.

Extreme Rules Match
John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

“Scared p*ssless”. That’s what Brock Lesnar said about John Cena. And well…he should be. Brock is back, and after a slightly shaky first appearance, he’s now looking as menacing as ever. Every time I look at Lesnar he reminds me of a great white shark. All evil eyes and weird grinning teeth. Dude freaks me out.

Actually I’ve been quite interested in “businessman” Brock since his return too, with his contract stipulations (Monday Night Raw featuring Brock Lesnar? They seriously have to change the show title one week to that 😆 ) and pulling the whole “I turn up any time I damn please”, I’m digging Lesnar being a bit of a diva outside the ring. The guy who thinks of himself as bigger than the WWE. The guy who thinks that it takes someone of his calibre and achievements to legitimise the WWE.

Can anyone else see Brock becoming totally unmanageable, intolerable, and just backfiring spectacularly in Johnny Ace’s goofy face? Because that’s what I’m hoping is gonna happen. In fact I’m calling it now. Brock Lesnar is gonna make Johnny Ace his bitch. After he’s done with John Cena that is.

Poor John Cena. The guy can’t do right in our eyes regardless of what he does. We don’t like superman Cena, and we don’t like scaredy bitch Cena. It begs the question, what do we like? What would you want to see John Cena do? And no, just saying “turn heel” isn’t a viable answer. Seriously though, where does Cena go from here?

I’ll admit, I’m intrigued to see what happens to Cena. The guy’s in a slump after losing the biggest match of his career, and the very next night after that loss he finds some guy coming in and saying that the WWE no longer needs John Cena. After all these years, John Cena has turned the WWE into a disgrace, and Brock Lesnar is here to fix that (allegedly).

You know what’s been missing from this feud? The old Smackdown footage of their original feud. The one where Cena invents the FU, and gets all up in Brock’s face. Why haven’t we seen any of that? Edge should have busted some of that footage out on Raw, really just to drive home to Cena that the younger him had no problem taking on a beat like Lesnar, but now he’s gone soft.

Is that our problem with Cena? Is it because he’s gone all soft, cuddly, and kid friendly? He does charity work, smiles and salutes for the hardworking forces overseas, is just a generally all round nice guy who works hard, and we hate him for it. I don’t know if it’s something wrong with Cena, or something wrong with us?

That’s all another article for another time though, as we need to get some predictions made on this match.

Who I want to win: Brock. Purely because I want to see what happens to Cena from here. Two straight losses to guys who essentially gifted Cena his spot by way of not being there anymore. Surely that’s enough to allow the doubt of “was I ever that good to begin with” to creep into Cena’s mind. And once an idea takes hold, it’s hard to get rid of. Ask Leonardo DiCaprio.

Who I think will win: Brock. It’s his big return to the ring, and to be honest I’m expecting a bit of a mauling. I can see Brock coming back in as a beast who tears through anyone in his path. Which John Laurinaitis is about to find isn’t such a smart business move after all.

So there we have it. Let’s see if I do as badly as I did in the WrestleMania predictions shall we? But enough of me waffling on, what do you think yourselves? As always there’s a big old comment box down there just aching for your input, so give me a shout with your thoughts.

Until next month, enjoy the show. I will. EXTREMEly. *facepalm*