Greetings traveller and welcome to the shadows. As the snow has arrived across the UK, the darkness has drawn in, the cold wind whistles through the cracks in the wall and we’re restless. As we close our tired eyes at night and feel the darkness enter our exhausted minds, the nightmares of old keep us awake… The Gobbledygooker! The fake Undertaker! Katie Vick! Tyson Tomko and Stevie Richards! Ah The Shockmaster! No Sid! No! Don’t jump off the top rope!!!

Much like Sid’s left leg I’m breaking out some of the most ridiculous, cringe-worthy and dire events we’ve all tried to forget…and reminded you of their ghastly existence so we all get a good night’s sleep this week. Being a wrestling fan can be exciting, unpredictable and always interesting however the perils that come with this dedication are that far too often we are greeted with unmitigating crap. Developments so unbearable it makes you want to listen to X-Factor’s old music in a sealed vault with a lonely Mark Henry rather than see that stuff again. Now we all know about Katie Vick, The Shockmaster and Sid trying to re-do a promo live on air, so let’s have a wander down the coned off section of memory lane and re-visit some forgotten horror shows in professional wrestling.

The Good

Meet the new Chairman…

Now many of today’s fans are spoilt for choice when it comes to cage gimmicks and matches. From Hell in Cells to Elimination Chambers and Lethal Lockdowns, they are hard hitting matches, which over the last decade have had a wide array of blood, weapons and absolute chaos. In 1991 though, the bloody epic cage match wasn’t a thing for the future, just ask JJ Dillion or Tully Blanchard about gory cage consequences. However for Halloween Havoc 91, WCW thought a good old fashioned cage match wasn’t nearly enough. The creative geniuses in Atlanta were thinking Frankenstein. “Hey you know what this cage match is missing? An electric chair!!!” Oh dear. Marquee talent like Sting and the Steiners met with Vader, the future Razor Ramon Scott Hall and Mick Foley in a Chamber of Horrors match. Yet it was the bad guy’s 4th team member, the legendary Abdullah the Butcher (he of the Olympic running track forehead) who was the “unfortunate” electrocution victim.

Now why does something this farcical and mental go in the good? Frankly cause it’s absolutely hilarious and the crowd were lapping it up. I mean what isn’t beautifully ironic about a bunch of southern hicks going absolutely insane for the big black man getting the electric chair? The Green Mile it certainly wasn’t. Sadly WCW at this point was going for insanity over most other forms of logic, and with this and Robocop saving Sting a year earlier, demonstrated WCW had indeed jumped the shark. For many long-time NWA fans who loved the show for a much bigger slice of realism and honesty, they started to look elsewhere. But please enjoy the video it deserves to be seen again and again.

Someone’s in trouble

Souled Out 2000 was a memorable PPV largely for featuring the last Chris Benoit match before he left for the WWF a week later. His fellow future Radicals, Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn and Eddie Guerrero were also all involved and Malenko’s hilarious contribution is often overlooked. Billy Kidman had 3 three gimmick gauntlet matches against members of mid-card heel stable The Revolution and his first was a catch as can match against The Iceman, Malenko. The loser is the first guy who goes to the floor outside. Somebody really should have reminded Dean.

Good old WCW though, what’s the worse they were going to do? Fire him? That’s what he wanted!

The Bad

Who’s that? Why it’s Beaver Cleavage!

A lot of people say Vince Russo has no patience. They also say he loves a good swerve. Oh and a ridiculous gimmick. So what happens when you put all 3 together in a sexy and rushed attitude sandwich? The infamous Harry Beaver Cleavage. The Beav debuted in early June 1999 and for anybody with a keen pair of eyes or a Power Slam magazine, you could see it was a repackaged Head Banger Mosh. The gimmick was of a seemingly overgrown child with a “WWE hot” (blonde hair and a chest that were even a handful for The Great Khali) mother who he had a pretty ‘unique’ close relationship with. All in all a classic forgotten late 90’s WWE gimmick. It was perfectly harmless stuff though and even started to get over, principally on the fact it was freakishly endearing and weird, bit like Susan Boyle.

Now he debuted on June 7th. On June 21st (2 weeks later for you Maths whizzes) in the middle of a promo, the Beav broke character, said he couldn’t do it anymore and walked off. The following week returning to announce he just wants to be himself!

So we get all this in 3 weeks? Introduce a new crazy gimmick, start to get him over, ditch it live on air with Chaz breaking character announcing he just wants to be himself with his now girlfriend/former on-screen mum. Confused?

You should be.

Unsurprisingly this all went down like Drew McIntyre’s entrance and Chaz went nowhere ultimately ensuring this whole pointless charade made the public care even less about him than before (which was difficult). Not to mention this confusing scripted shoot debacle came only a month after the death of Owen Hart and the very real and heartfelt comments made by wrestlers out of character on Raw. A startling use of blurring the lines between fiction and reality. All for an irrelevant jobber guy who was on the fast track to Future Endeavours-land.

Want to see a giant ride on a coffin?

As already established, 1999 was an interesting year for the WWE. They did monster numbers in television and the likes of The Rock, Steve Austin and The Undertaker were drawing in huge buyrates and having legendary feuds. Yet as shown with Mr. Cleavage they were pushing the envelope in other truly baffling directions. The late Big Bossman had returned to the McMahons in late 1998 and 1999 was a memorable year to say the least for him. His character became rather sadistically evil. Not in a Saw way, more of a Wile. E Coyote way. In the autumn he had feuded with Al Snow with a storyline centring on Snow’s dog Pepper. It later emerged that Bossman had stolen Snow’s dog and then tricked the hapless nutter into eating his own dog! Ha! That Machiavellian trickster! And before you ask, no he didn’t put salt on it. Their feud climaxed in the frankly disastrous Kennel from Hell match, a hell in a cell match with dogs in. I wouldn’t dare show you that. Nobody deserves that.

Phew, I bet the Bossman thought. Thank God that’s over, now I can get back to regular storylines and good clean fun. Sadly this was the calm before the real storm…

Whether the writing crew had used this first maniacal feud as a tester or were impressed by Bossman’s new found impressive craziness, they had a much more diabolical plot ahead.

The Big Show’s dying dad!

After all, nothing sells in wrestling like mocking a giant for mourning his cancer ridden father.

So in storyline land, The Big Show’s dad dies and Bossman rips into Show, mocking the blubbering tortured tower for showing grief and pain. The feud reached a quite astonishing low where at his funeral, the Bossman hooks up the coffin to his car, drives away, leaving Show to dive on it Jimmy Snuka on Don Muraco. And for the cherry on top, the WWE rewards Big Show with his first WWE Title reign.

It was a feud that mixed Bossman’s Deliverance insanity with the Frankenstein monster Big Show showing new found weakness and conflict. The fact it was his 2nd face turn of the year meant his character was so all over the place though it was impossible not to find any of this ridiculous, bordering on farcical and hilarious. So for any current WWE fans who think today is boring, have a look at this and think what you’d rather have.

The Ugly

Broken bones, bleeding like a pig, crunching concussions and seismic slams are wrestling’s pitfalls. For a fan like me, growing up seeing images and film of Vader breaking backs or Carlos Colon giving blood in gallon jugs, it’s a horror spectacle which frightens and screams danger.

I’ll leave you with some of my horrendous favourite videos and pictures. Those of a nervous disposition, hide behind your sofa…

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Muta Scale. Poor Keiji Muto bled so much he was given his own scale in terms of how much claret is spilled within the squared circle. It’s graphic viewing, so beware…

Muto’s involved again, this time he’s the one avoiding the agony. Jushin Liger comes off very badly from a simple slide. I bet he wish he didn’t stand up…

Keep your eye out for this one. Vader certainly did.

Owen Hart here, demonstrating the perils of a live promo.

You always got the impression Michael Buffer really cared about working for WCW.

Others

* Abe “Knuckleball” Schwarz – (aka The Brooklyn Brawler) was a baseball player, his face was painted like a ball. Creative inspiration don’t you think? Sadly he never got anywhere near hitting a home run.

* T.L. Hopper – A southern hick plumber. Nothing says dangerous like a man who, if he’s really angry, might cut off your water supply. Sadly his character didn’t last long and he returned to the indie circuit. He didn’t get much work there though as new Polish wrestlers took all his bookings for less money and more work. True story. I bet he wished he took up a more profitable trade like…

* Isaac Yankem – Dentistry! It’s Kane after visiting Jeff Jarrett’s hairdresser and Shane McGowan’s dentist. You see Isaac Yankem was known as a sadistic dentist but did you see those gnashers? You’d have thought a dentist character should have perfect teeth. That being said he was also portrayed as a major force and threat to all in the WWE. And he wasn’t that either. Not until 1997 did Glen Jacobs get a career defining role. Isaac Yankem though will sadly hang over his head like a bad smell forever.

* Adam Bomb – So Bryan Clark ‘survives’ the Three Mile Incident, which somehow meant he had to wear a weird red and yellow leotard and these crazy glasses. I suppose that works for Kanye West though and let’s not forget he also had a nuclear meltdown with that ego explosion with Taylor Swift. The principle difference was Kanye sold a lot and was successful. Clark was very successful and he certainly didn’t sell much. His high point was jobbing in seconds to Earthquake at Wrestle Mania 10 before his next big starring role in the aptly named tag team Kronic with the late Crush, Brian Adams. Anyone who saw their match with The Undertaker and Kane in 2001 will know chronic barely covered their abilities.

So there we have it. Some truly frightening and terrifying moments largely forgotten in wrestling…and for good reason too. If there are any moments you’d like to let everyone know about or you need to tell the world what grotesque grappling catastrophes chill you to the bone, then please add your comments!

I hope this has warmed you up in the cold and bleak days and always remember…with the Vince’s of McMahon and Russo stirring the creative brew of WWE and TNA, there’s always something scary lurking around the corner.

Proceed with caution…

COMMENTS

Please read our Commenting Policy before you join in with the discussion.

Note: If you have email notifications enabled, please check your email spam folders to ensure emails are not missed.

Name*

Email*

4 Comments

Inline Feedbacks

View all comments

Clive Launceston

9 years ago

Who can forget the Horror of Mae Young giving birth to a hand, who comes up with this shit?

Michael Babcock can I just point out that it was in fact the late John Tenta aka Earthquake who “killed off” Damian and not Andre the Giant.

Author

Iron Jung

Sadly Mth I think the image of the Boogeyman was all that was needed to strike fear into wrestling fans everywhere! But he’s certainly be one of the more insane characters in wrestling in recent years, yet wasn’t a massive failure, he did get over to an extent! I’d put him in a category with Naked Mideon say, something I wish I could forget but not entirely a failure, just a crime on my eyes. And Michael…Barry Horowitz! How dare you, his whole angle with Skip in 1995 immediately gives him cool points. And his oddball friendship with Hakushi…

Michael Babcock

Oh god where to start….Gobbledygooker, Doink with 4 midgets and Jerry Lawler with 4 of his own, The Goon, Barry Horowitz, The whole Men on a Mission thing when they turned, hell…Jake the Snake Roberts snake getting “killed” by Andre the Giant sitting on it,ummmmmm Taker vs Taker…..May Young giving birth to a rubber hand….

Jacob

Gillberg, Gillberg, Gillberg!

Cookie	Description
_pxvid	This cookie is used for detection of the browser and distinguishing whether it is a real user or malicious bot.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Advertisement".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics	This cookies is set by GDPR Cookie Consent WordPress Plugin. The cookie is used to remember the user consent for the cookies under the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-non-necessary	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Non Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance	This cookie is used to keep track of which cookies the user have approved for this site.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-preferences	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Preferences".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-uncategorized	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Uncategorized".
CraftSessionId	This cookie name is associated with the Craft web content management system, where is functions as an anonymous session identifier.
csrftoken	This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks
DSID	To note specific user identity. Contains hashed/encrypted unique ID.
JSESSIONID	Used by sites written in JSP. General purpose platform session cookies that are used to maintain users' state across page requests.
PHPSESSID	This cookie is native to PHP applications. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed.
viewed_cookie_policy	The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.

Cookie	Description
b30msc
btc
CMST
cref
d
gpl
i
icts
ig_did
mdata
na_rn
na_sc_e
na_sr
na_srp
session_depth
visitor-id

Cookie	Description
__gads	This cookie is set by Google and stored under the name dounleclick.com. This cookie is used to track how many times users see a particular advert which helps in measuring the success of the campaign and calculate the revenue generated by the campaign. These cookies can only be read from the domain that it is set on so it will not track any data while browsing through another sites.
__stid	The cookie is set by ShareThis. The cookie is used for site analytics to determine the pages visited, the amount of time spent, etc.
_ga	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to calculate visitor, session, camapign data and keep track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookies store information anonymously and assigns a randoly generated number to identify unique visitors.
_gat_gtag_UA_60765351_1	Google uses this cookie to distinguish users.
_gid	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the wbsite is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages viisted in an anonymous form.
ad-id	Provided by amazon-adsystem.com for tracking user actions on other websites to provide targeted content
demdex	This cookie is set under the domain demdex.net and is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains.
DigiTrust.v1.identity	Registers data on visitors’ website-behaviour. This is used for internal analysis and website optimization.
dmvk	This cookie is set by DailyMotion who display videos, it registers statistical data of visitors' behaviour on the website.
gid	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the wbsite is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages viisted in an anonymous form.
GPS	This cookie is set by Youtube and registers a unique ID for tracking users based on their geographical location
is_unique	This cookie is set by StatCounter to determine how people are using the website
is_visitor_unique	This cookie is set by StatCounter to determine how people are using the website
sc_is_visitor_unique	This cookie is set by StatCounter to determine how people are using the website
v1st	This is set by DailyMotion to display videos.

Cookie	Description
__asc	This cookie is used to collect information on consumer behavior, which is sent to Alexa Analytics.
__auc	This cookie is used to collect information on consumer behavior, which is sent to Alexa Analytics.
__qca	This cookie is associated with Quantcast and is used for collecting anonymized data to analyze log data from different websites to create reports that enables the website owners and advertisers provide ads for the appropriate audience segments.
_cc_aud	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_cc_cc	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_cc_dc	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_cc_id	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_kuid_	The cookie is set by Krux Digital under the domain krxd.net. The cookie stores a unique ID to identify a returning user for the purpose of targeted advertising.
_px2	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
_pxff_tm	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
_pxhd	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
ab	This cookie is generally provided by agkn.com and is used for advertising purposes.
ad-privacy	Provided by amazon-adsystem.com for tracking user actions on other websites to provide targeted content to the users.
ayl_visitor	This cookie registers data on the visitor. The information is used to optimize advertisement relevance.
bafp	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bafp_t	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_pl	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_rf_8b2087b102c9e3e5ffed1c1478ed8b78	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_rt_8b2087b102c9e3e5ffed1c1478ed8b78	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_t_8b2087b102c9e3e5ffed1c1478ed8b78	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_td_2d31c94105a0aa6d1ceaea0c86c6b656	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bito	This cookie is generally provided by bidr.io and is used for advertising purposes.
bitoIsSecure	This cookies are generally provided by bidr.io and is used for advertising purposes.
bsc	The cookies is set by ownerIQ for the purpose of providing relevant advertisement
CMID	This cookie is linked to advertising and tracking the products users were looking at.
CMPRO	This cookie is linked to advertising and tracking the products users were looking at.
CMPS	This cookie is linked to advertising and tracking the products users were looking at.
dc_id	This cookie is used to deliver adverts more relevant to you and your interests. They are also used to limit the number of times you see an advertisement as well as help measure the effectiveness of the advertising campaign. They are usually placed by advertising networks with the website operator's permission. They remember that you have visited a website and this information is shared with other organisations such as advertisers.
did	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
didts	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
dpm	The cookie is set by demdex.net. This cookie assigns a unique ID to each visiting user that allows third-party advertisers target that users with relevant ads.
eud	This cookie is from Rocket Fuel and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
euds	This cookie is from Rocket Fuel and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
everest_g_v2	The cookie is set under eversttech.net domain. The purpose of the cookie is to map clicks to other events on the client's website.
evo5_popin_instance	Prevents an interaction from reoccurring for visitors not accepting 3rd party cookies.
id	This cookie is set by DoubleClick (which is owned by Google) to build a profile of the website visitor's interests and show relevant ads on other sites.
IDE	Used by Google DoubleClick and stores information about how the user uses the website and any other advertisement before visiting the website. This is used to present users with ads that are relevant to them according to the user profile.
io.narrative.guid.v2	This cookie is generally provided by io.narrative.io and is used for advertising purposes.
KADUSERCOOKIE	This cookie is generally provided by pubmatic.com and is used for advertising purposes.
KTPCACOOKIE	This cookie is generally provided by pubmatic.com and is used for advertising purposes.
matchliveramp	This cookie is provided by w55c.net and is used for advertising purposes.
mc	This cookie is associated with Quantserve to track anonymously how a user interact with the website.
mxpim	This cookie is generally provided by mxptint.net for advertising purposes.
na_tc	This is a Social Media sharing tracking cookie.
NID	This cookie is used to a profile based on user's interest and display personalized ads to the users.
nnls	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
pxrc	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
pxvid	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
rlas3	The cookie is set by rlcdn.com. The cookie is used to serve relevant ads to the visitor as well as limit the time the visitor sees an and also measure the effectiveness of the campaign.

Cookie	Description
__jid	Cookies set on the website by the third-party commenting platform Disqus.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional
disqus_unique	These cookies are set by Disqus so that users can comment on website/platform.
G_ENABLED_IDPS	The cookie is used by Google and is used for Google Single Sign On.
mid	The cookie is set by Instagram. The cookie is used to distinguish users and to show relevant content, for better user experience and security.
na_id	This cookie is set by Addthis.com to enable sharing of links on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter
ouid	The cookie is set by Addthis which enables the content of the website to be shared across different networking and social sharing websites.
ov	This is a generic functional cookie that provides enhanced functionality and personalisation.
ts	This cookie is generally provided by PayPal and supports payment services in the website.
vuid	These cookies are used by the Vimeo video player on websites.

The Horrors of Professional Wrestling

The Good

Meet the new Chairman…

The Bad

Who’s that? Why it’s Beaver Cleavage!

Want to see a giant ride on a coffin?

The Ugly

You might also like

FIND THE TOPICS YOU WANT...

Recommended for you