Your SO OF COURSE preview of WWE Royal Rumble (2017)

In this day and age you can’t just “predict” a PPV anymore, you have to to account for the capricious whims of WWE’s septuagenarian, sleep-deprived egomaniac owner. You can’t just “preview” a PPV…you have to preview how things should go, in a reasonable and sane world, and then add “so of course…” and explain what Vince McMahon will probably do instead.

Consider this your SO OF COURSE preview of WWE ROYAL RUMBLE: NOW FEATURING AN EXTRA HOUR OF WRESTLING YOU WILL JUST WANT TO HURRY UP AND END TO GET TO THE ONE MATCH YOU WANT TO SEE!

Look at all the full-timers on that poster!

Last time on SO OF COURSE, WWE presented Roadblock 2: Roadblockier. Let us not recap Roadblock. It was a silly show.

The Road to WrestleMania 33 kicks off Sunday with what is nearly everyone’s favorite match of the year: The 30-Man Royal Rumble Match. The card is almost always stacked with big title matches as the direction of the company’s near future begins to take shape. Big title changes have occurred at the Royal Rumble PPV, and of course, the big match itself has seen plenty of surprises. What’s exciting about this year’s match is how many potential winners there are, and the lack of an obvious favorite to win it. A lot of spots are open in the thirty-man contest so there’s plenty of room for surprise debuts, returns and special appearances by old favorites.

Before we get to that, though, there’s the undercard. And this year it’s solid but not spectacular. In years past we had big matches like The Rock vs CM Punk for the WWE Title. We’ve seen Brock Lesnar vs John Cena vs Seth Rollins for the WWE Title. Bray Wyatt vs Daniel Bryan stole the show in 2014, as did John Cena and Umaga in 2007. This year lacks a big must-see match outside of the big main event, but nothing looks pointless, so it will be interesting to see how Vince screws it up.

Let’s dig in.

~~~

RICH SWANN vs NEVILLE

Just when it looked like the Cruiserweight division was doomed to slip into late-2000’s “Divas match” irrelevance, Neville comes along and rescues the whole thing. His heel turn has been nothing short of a revelation. In NXT he flirted with being a heel, but mostly he spent the final bit of his title run as a cocky jerk who could back up his trash talk in the ring. He rarely did anything unscrupulous or outright villainous the way a traditional heel does. I wonder if Vince was holding off on putting him in the Cruiserweight division because he (A) hates cruiserweights as a general rule and certainly as a sub-division, and (B) sees money in Neville as a Rey Mysterio-style midcarder. Maybe he thought he was sparing Neville the horror of having to pal around with the tiny people. They finally gave it a try and it’s worked beautifully.

Neville easily has the most credibility in the division and is a natural “big fish in a small pond.” The role was tailor made for a heel and he’s living up to the faith they put in him. There’s still a lot to complain about with regards to the division (at least on Raw; 205 Live is exactly what it should be), but Neville has given it a fighting chance to establish itself (eventually) as a weekly must-watch segment of Monday Night Raw.

Rich Swann is the champion and though he’s doing better with the belt than either Kendrick or Perkins, he’s not really taken off with the live crowd the way WWE hoped he would. A title change here feels right, not only to strike while the iron is hot with Neville, but also to give him a couple months to dominate as champ before the next top babyface takes the belt from him at WrestleMania. If Vince gives this even a little bit of attention they can have a hot match on their hands come April 2nd.

SO OF COURSE…

Uh, Vince?

Vince are you even watching the Cruiserweight matches?!

CHARLOTTE vs BAYLEY

Is anyone surprised that Bayley is struggling on Raw? During her time in NXT she was easily the most perfectly written and booked character on the show (or at least, tied with Sami Zayn’s quest to win the NXT title). She was everything fans wanted Cena to be for most of his main-event run. She was a never give up scrapper and fighter, who had to scratch and claw for every victory she earned before some heel came and ripped her heart out. Fans embraced her as the heart and soul of the ~~Divas~~ Women’s Movement that eventually spilled over into the main roster shows. And throughout all her great successes and memorable moments, fans dreaded the day when she would leave the comfortable and insulated nest of NXT and join the circus on Monday nights. “If they use her right she can be bigger than any diva ever!” we said.

So of course they are ruining her, making her give long winded promos and stifling her “comeback kid” persona with 50/50 booking and nonsense stories.

Now she faces Charlotte in her first major PPV title match and, as with all of the Raw women’s matches, the actual wrestling is sure to be great but it’ll never be as good as it could be because the story and booking is so terrible. Charlotte has this silly “PPV win streak” going, that no one really cares about but someone in WWE is fixated on. She’s also something like a nine time champion or whatever after a year on the main roster. I dunno man, five years ago the matches and the stories sucked, so at least WWE has one foot forward.

It doesn’t feel like Bayley will win: It would stop the winning streak cold with no fanfare, on the PPV used to set up the big moments that are supposed to come at WrestleMania. It would jump over the entire story of the babyface climbing to the top by giving her the title in her first big match. It wouldn’t make any sense and as great as it would be to see Bayley an actual main-roster Women’s Champion, the circumstances would be so asinine it would almost ruin the moment. Charlotte retaining is the only thing that makes sense, with Sasha working her way back in for a WrestleMania triple threat, perhaps.

SO OF COURSE…

AJ STYLES vs JOHN CENA

This was the match I had pegged—back in August—to be the title match at WrestleMania 33. It seemed like we were gearing up for Cena to pull an Old Man Logan, make his last big comeback and win his final title, tying Flair for #16 by beating the only heel to really and truly go over him. Instead, as WWE is wont to do, they are telling that WrestleMania worthy story two months early. You might think that will leave Cena free to face Undertaker at WrestleMania (which is the other possible Cena match everyone had pegged for the big show), but nah it’ll probably be Cena vs Styles again, after it no longer matters, and Undertaker will go out on his back to Braun Strowman.

Because Vince’s booking is what happens when the human brain runs on 45 minutes of sleep every day for twenty five years straight.

Silliness aside, this match is going to be great. Nothing should top the actual Rumble match on the Rumble PPV, but as far as normal matches go, Cena and AJ have a tremendous chemistry, rivaling that of CM Punk’s connection with Cena. It’ll blow the roof off the building and whatever the finish, as long as it’s clean (and if not, then it better be a shocker for the ages), will be satisfying. Cena has won over a lot of his formerly jaded critics now that he’s out of the main-event spotlight so constantly. AJ Styles has had a strong run with the title, and not been treated like an undeserving champ (the way so many smaller, or indie guys have been when they won). If the title changes and Cena has a big, important Mania 33 match (almost certainly his last with the belt as a full time performer) that’ll be fine. If AJ does the nearly-impossible and beats Cena again, well you can just shut the show off right there. This is almost impossible to screw up.

SO OF COURSE…

KEVIN OWENS vs ROMAN REIGNS

Kevin Owens is treated like an undeserving champ. Chris Jericho will be locked in a tiny cage hanging over the ring. Roman Reigns will be there and will likely win the title because Vince is the most stubborn man on the planet. This is the most “Brand Split-era Raw” match on the card. Expect it to be juuuust good enough that you keep watching, but ultimately you will ask yourself “why do I even bother?” more than twice.

But yea, Roman’s winning. And likely will wrestle Braun Strowman on the mid-card of WrestleMania. Or maybe Jericho and Owens will make it a triple threat and then they’ll do the Owens/Jericho feud while Reigns farts around as champ in the Spring. At some point Finn Balor is going to come back and you just know some writer will say to Vince “hey remember that we pushed him right to the top?” and Vince will say “Who, the Irish Goldust guy?” and go back to his ketchup-covered well done steak.

SO OF COURSE…

SIX WOMAN SMACKDOWN TAG MATCH

Naturally Smackdown is forced to offer up its superior Women’s talent (superior in division depth, writing, match quality consistency, number of over talent, etc) as a throwaway match that will likely be positioned as a buffer between the two big title matches and the hour+ long main event. A trio of babyfaces (Becky Lynch, Naomi, Nikki Bella) will take on a trio of heels (Alexa Bliss, Mickie James and Natalya). Obviously Mickie James is the big story here, as this will be her first main roster PPV match in seven years. She proved she could still go in her NXT Takeover match with Asuka, and she’s settled in nicely on Smackdown. She ought to get a nice showcase in this match and hopefully something big to do at WrestleMania.

The Women’s Title is not on the line, but the finish to this match might hint and which direction they go with the belt heading into WrestleMania. Alexa is the current title holder, but as great as she’s been, she just feels like a traditional “heel transitional champ.” It wouldn’t be a shock to see her drop the belt to a babyface in February and have the new champ go over Mickie in Orlando. Whether that babyface is Becky Lynch or the less talented, but more beloved by decision makers Nikki Bella, remains to be seen. Becky continues to be the best all around lady on the Smackdown roster, and the best should either have the title or be chasing for the title.

SO OF COURSE…

THE ROYAL RUMBLE

For a primer, the three best Royal Rumble matches are 1992 (Ric Flair wins the WWF Championship), 2001 (Steve Austin gets win #3 at the peak of the Attitude Era), and 2008 (Madison Square Garden, great surprises, John Cena gets cheered). Watch those to get you in the mood. Last year’s Rumble match was a lot of fun too, but the ending was terribly predictable. Having said that, the big complaint against Vince is that he sometimes throws a stupid curve ball when he realizes fans have guessed his ending (remember 2012 when Sheamus ended the Rumble with a wet fart?).

Fortunately this year there’s no obvious winner, so it should be exciting, especially if the final four features four reasonable winners. And who are those potential winners?

UNDERTAKER is the closest thing to a favorite. Jokes aside, his story would almost have to pit him against John Cena in a dream match for the WWE Title in what might be the Dead Man’s final WrestleMania.

CHRIS JERICHO might win, but that would be dependent on Kevin Owens retaining the Universal Title earlier in the night. The Rumble is Jericho’s only remaining accolade in a certain Hall of Fame career. He doesn’t necessarily need the win, but it would at least be logical.

BRAUN STROWMAN can certainly win, if Vince is not yet tired of fans hating the endings to their favorite match of the year (When was the last time the crowd cheered wildly for a Rumble winner? Edge in 2010?). Braun vs Roman Reigns would be the ultimate “so of course” move for Vince to pull this year, so don’t put it past him.

BROCK LESNAR and GOLDBERG are both considered reasonable picks simply based on their stature and starpower. It would take a little reverse engineering to make WrestleMania’s big title match feature either of them, however, since they most certainly are going to face each other at the big show. One of them would have to win the title at the February PPV and it would just feel like jumping through too many hoops to make the match happen when it could happen so much easier without the title being on the line.

FINN BALOR is not confirmed so his appearance would almost certainly telegraph a win and thus would almost certainly have to happen at #30. He’s not supposed to be cleared to return to action until April, and by then the Mania title matches will already be set. If he doesn’t return on Sunday, he probably won’t until the day after WrestleMania at the earliest. If he has rehabbed ahead of schedule however, he would be a strong favorite, provided again that Kevin Owens retains the title against Roman Reigns.

Everyone else who is confirmed for the Rumble just looks like filler or guys like Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton who are in the middle of their own—non-main event—stories. There are guys like Big E or Cesaro that no one would be upset to see win, but one of those guys has not even been hinted at as being groomed for the main event and the other is a current Tag Team Champ. Other surprises could range from Kurt Angle to Texas natives HBK and Steve Austin (the Rumble is in the Alamo Dome), any of which would blow the roof off the place but none of whom have a snowball’s chance of winning.

SO OF COURSE…

Oh well there’s always NXT (and SmackDown!).

Here’s to Sunday.

COMMENTS

Please read our Commenting Policy before you join in with the discussion.

Note: If you have email notifications enabled, please check your email spam folders to ensure emails are not missed.

1 Comment

Inline Feedbacks

View all comments

conan_kun

3 years ago

Regarding 6 women tag, Vince will let Nikki score a pinfall win then win the title at Elimination Chamber and hold it for the remaining year 2017

Cookie	Description
_pxvid	This cookie is used for detection of the browser and distinguishing whether it is a real user or malicious bot.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Advertisement".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics	This cookies is set by GDPR Cookie Consent WordPress Plugin. The cookie is used to remember the user consent for the cookies under the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-non-necessary	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Non Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance	This cookie is used to keep track of which cookies the user have approved for this site.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-preferences	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Preferences".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-uncategorized	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Uncategorized".
CraftSessionId	This cookie name is associated with the Craft web content management system, where is functions as an anonymous session identifier.
csrftoken	This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks
DSID	To note specific user identity. Contains hashed/encrypted unique ID.
JSESSIONID	Used by sites written in JSP. General purpose platform session cookies that are used to maintain users' state across page requests.
PHPSESSID	This cookie is native to PHP applications. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed.
viewed_cookie_policy	The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.

Cookie	Description
b30msc
btc
CMST
cref
d
gpl
i
icts
ig_did
mdata
na_rn
na_sc_e
na_sr
na_srp
session_depth
visitor-id

Cookie	Description
__gads	This cookie is set by Google and stored under the name dounleclick.com. This cookie is used to track how many times users see a particular advert which helps in measuring the success of the campaign and calculate the revenue generated by the campaign. These cookies can only be read from the domain that it is set on so it will not track any data while browsing through another sites.
__stid	The cookie is set by ShareThis. The cookie is used for site analytics to determine the pages visited, the amount of time spent, etc.
_ga	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to calculate visitor, session, camapign data and keep track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookies store information anonymously and assigns a randoly generated number to identify unique visitors.
_gat_gtag_UA_60765351_1	Google uses this cookie to distinguish users.
_gid	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the wbsite is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages viisted in an anonymous form.
ad-id	Provided by amazon-adsystem.com for tracking user actions on other websites to provide targeted content
demdex	This cookie is set under the domain demdex.net and is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains.
DigiTrust.v1.identity	Registers data on visitors’ website-behaviour. This is used for internal analysis and website optimization.
dmvk	This cookie is set by DailyMotion who display videos, it registers statistical data of visitors' behaviour on the website.
gid	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the wbsite is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages viisted in an anonymous form.
GPS	This cookie is set by Youtube and registers a unique ID for tracking users based on their geographical location
is_unique	This cookie is set by StatCounter to determine how people are using the website
is_visitor_unique	This cookie is set by StatCounter to determine how people are using the website
sc_is_visitor_unique	This cookie is set by StatCounter to determine how people are using the website
v1st	This is set by DailyMotion to display videos.

Cookie	Description
__asc	This cookie is used to collect information on consumer behavior, which is sent to Alexa Analytics.
__auc	This cookie is used to collect information on consumer behavior, which is sent to Alexa Analytics.
__qca	This cookie is associated with Quantcast and is used for collecting anonymized data to analyze log data from different websites to create reports that enables the website owners and advertisers provide ads for the appropriate audience segments.
_cc_aud	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_cc_cc	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_cc_dc	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_cc_id	The cookie is set by crwdcntrl.net. The purpose of the cookie is to collect statistical information in an anonymous form about the visitors of the website. The data collected include number of visits, average time spent on the website, and the what pages have been loaded. These data are then used to segment audiences based on the geographical location, demographic, and user interest provide relevant content and for advertisers for targeted advertising.
_kuid_	The cookie is set by Krux Digital under the domain krxd.net. The cookie stores a unique ID to identify a returning user for the purpose of targeted advertising.
_px2	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
_pxff_tm	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
_pxhd	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
ab	This cookie is generally provided by agkn.com and is used for advertising purposes.
ad-privacy	Provided by amazon-adsystem.com for tracking user actions on other websites to provide targeted content to the users.
ayl_visitor	This cookie registers data on the visitor. The information is used to optimize advertisement relevance.
bafp	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bafp_t	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_pl	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_rf_8b2087b102c9e3e5ffed1c1478ed8b78	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_rt_8b2087b102c9e3e5ffed1c1478ed8b78	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_t_8b2087b102c9e3e5ffed1c1478ed8b78	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bfp_sn_td_2d31c94105a0aa6d1ceaea0c86c6b656	This cookie is from Media.net and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
bito	This cookie is generally provided by bidr.io and is used for advertising purposes.
bitoIsSecure	This cookies are generally provided by bidr.io and is used for advertising purposes.
bsc	The cookies is set by ownerIQ for the purpose of providing relevant advertisement
CMID	This cookie is linked to advertising and tracking the products users were looking at.
CMPRO	This cookie is linked to advertising and tracking the products users were looking at.
CMPS	This cookie is linked to advertising and tracking the products users were looking at.
dc_id	This cookie is used to deliver adverts more relevant to you and your interests. They are also used to limit the number of times you see an advertisement as well as help measure the effectiveness of the advertising campaign. They are usually placed by advertising networks with the website operator's permission. They remember that you have visited a website and this information is shared with other organisations such as advertisers.
did	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
didts	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
dpm	The cookie is set by demdex.net. This cookie assigns a unique ID to each visiting user that allows third-party advertisers target that users with relevant ads.
eud	This cookie is from Rocket Fuel and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
euds	This cookie is from Rocket Fuel and is used to deliver targeted advertising across their network sites ensuring users see relevant advertising.
everest_g_v2	The cookie is set under eversttech.net domain. The purpose of the cookie is to map clicks to other events on the client's website.
evo5_popin_instance	Prevents an interaction from reoccurring for visitors not accepting 3rd party cookies.
id	This cookie is set by DoubleClick (which is owned by Google) to build a profile of the website visitor's interests and show relevant ads on other sites.
IDE	Used by Google DoubleClick and stores information about how the user uses the website and any other advertisement before visiting the website. This is used to present users with ads that are relevant to them according to the user profile.
io.narrative.guid.v2	This cookie is generally provided by io.narrative.io and is used for advertising purposes.
KADUSERCOOKIE	This cookie is generally provided by pubmatic.com and is used for advertising purposes.
KTPCACOOKIE	This cookie is generally provided by pubmatic.com and is used for advertising purposes.
matchliveramp	This cookie is provided by w55c.net and is used for advertising purposes.
mc	This cookie is associated with Quantserve to track anonymously how a user interact with the website.
mxpim	This cookie is generally provided by mxptint.net for advertising purposes.
na_tc	This is a Social Media sharing tracking cookie.
NID	This cookie is used to a profile based on user's interest and display personalized ads to the users.
nnls	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
pxrc	The purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
pxvid	This cookie is set by PerimeterX who provide security analyst oversight.
rlas3	The cookie is set by rlcdn.com. The cookie is used to serve relevant ads to the visitor as well as limit the time the visitor sees an and also measure the effectiveness of the campaign.

Cookie	Description
__jid	Cookies set on the website by the third-party commenting platform Disqus.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional
disqus_unique	These cookies are set by Disqus so that users can comment on website/platform.
G_ENABLED_IDPS	The cookie is used by Google and is used for Google Single Sign On.
mid	The cookie is set by Instagram. The cookie is used to distinguish users and to show relevant content, for better user experience and security.
na_id	This cookie is set by Addthis.com to enable sharing of links on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter
ouid	The cookie is set by Addthis which enables the content of the website to be shared across different networking and social sharing websites.
ov	This is a generic functional cookie that provides enhanced functionality and personalisation.
ts	This cookie is generally provided by PayPal and supports payment services in the website.
vuid	These cookies are used by the Vimeo video player on websites.

Your SO OF COURSE preview of WWE Royal Rumble 2017

RICH SWANN vs NEVILLE

CHARLOTTE vs BAYLEY

AJ STYLES vs JOHN CENA

KEVIN OWENS vs ROMAN REIGNS

SIX WOMAN SMACKDOWN TAG MATCH

THE ROYAL RUMBLE

You might also like

FIND THE TOPICS YOU WANT...

Recommended for you