The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 25/11/11: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY-oh. Right. Carry on.

Race update: Henry still with his nose in front. But man, did some business ever go down this week dawg. A must-watch show.

MARK HENRY IS THE GREATEST EVER. Its easier to get it out of my system straight up. He takes his own Hall of Paining and still walks out here. It aint broke! Henry just going off on the crowd for cheering his misfortune was awesome. “Who does this kind of stuff?!” This man is equal parts badass and asshole and its glorious.

You know, Show’s bad temper beats the sh*t out of Sheamus’ “hothead” gimmick, I’ve just realised. Mainly because its organic and I actually noticed it instead of one day they said “Sheamus is a hothead” and he suddenly had to act like one. In June Show was pissed off about being run over, pissed about having to face Henry, and proceeded to beat the sh*t out of him unmercifully to start the entire angle. When he came back, Henry tried to duck him so Show went “F*ck this, I keep punching you until I get my shot.” Henry tried to duck the rematch, Show kept punching him until he got it. Henry tried to be a dick again here, Show got mad again and KO’d him to death. Big Show is seriously great.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SH*T!

For a second. I have to say, I was going out of my mind when this happened, both in excitement and in fear of Henry losing the belt, and while it lasted it was pretty amazing. The epic struggle to roll him over ruled. And Bryan certainly sold being over the moon. Shoving it in Cole’s face was a good touch. Its going to be off the charts incredible when it happens for real.

TEDDY! OH GOD HENRY IS DREW MAC!

That was AWESOME. It was an incredible, incredible angle when they did it last year and I’m glad they busted it out again because doing a Dusty like that is just a killer emotionally. I really liked Teddy’s “It happened too fast!” work, Bryan did his best Kofi Kingston, and while he wasnt exactly wearing a pimped out white suit, Henry is a great Drew Mac. That was a great moment, both as a test run to see if Bryan works (he does), and also as part of the angle to get him sympathy and build the main. Excellent work.

Hang on, just let me check. Yep, still love wrestling.

Hunico vs Gabes was fun while it lasted, except for Cole. As soon as Dusty happened I knew he’d be unbearable, and he was. But whatever because Hunico BITING HIS EYE for the finish was some glorious heelery. The poor man is screwed with Cara out so hopefully he finds something to do.

You know, when Alicia started talking on commentary it hit me like a train that I had absolutely no idea what her voice sounded like before this moment. She’s been on TV for THREE YEARS and won the Women’s Title, and I dont remember her ever talking before. Uncool, Double Double E. This is why nobody is over.

ANYWHO, she actually did pretty well for a first go at commentary. You can tell a mile away that they’re breaking AJ and Kaitlyn up and I have absolutely no idea why. What on earth is Kaitlyn going to do in singles? Jesus. Anyway this was fine.

Wow, if the breakup was the point then they really botched this. We barely saw Kaitlyn leave and it was barely mentioned. Lameness. Especially since AJ had to DIE JESUS CHRIST again for the angle. Alicia also sucked in casually strolling into the ring instead of urgently saving a woman from death. Needs more work girls.

“Do I have Mattel written on my head?! Do I look like a game?! Why you tryin’ to play me?!”

THE GREATEST EVER.

Its funny that they seemingly cant have a Live Smackdown without a steel cage title match, but I aint hating. I thought it was great how you could tell Teddy made the cage match for the ratingz, but it was pretty unfair to Henry so he was scared to tell him. Teddy noted that he’d be cleared by then, but it remains that he’s hurt and thus there can be some drama about the result. Great work.

“Keep surprising me!”

The best part of Sheamus’ new gimmick is when he’s backstage talking to someone and terrifies them with the Stone Cold Stare and Laugh spot. Fun times.

This tag match RULED! Super, super fun tag, given a hell of a lot of time and everyone brought it. The early house cleaning leading to Zack’s SOMERSAULT PLANCHA was great. Zack getting the first hot tag and running wild was great, I love how he “Woo Woo Woo”s into the Broski Boot. Then he was just so awesome as Ricky Morton, he was always active and always working for the tag and the cut offs were great. Vickie’s Team is a great unit and obviously Dolph in particular is immense right now. Then finally the hot tag and Sheamus just kills people, everything breaks down, blind tag, and HOLY GOD DOLPH’S BUMP! He LAUNCHED himself onto Sheamus’ back for the Zig Zag, and Sheamus stopped it and LAUNCHED him right off. It was awesome. And right into the Leg Lariat that he again made look INSANE for the win. When this started I was so, so, so hoping Zack would get the pin, and he did. Awesomely fun tag, seek it out.

Bryan and AJ backstage was, well, it was Acting. Also, she didnt seem to give a sh*t about her best friend abandoning her so thats another fumble. Get it together ladies. But Barrett was fun, and I like the ongoing story that Bryan has to get over the emotion of the opening to knuckle down and win the main event.

Ted vs Slater would have been a fine few minutes, only Ted is going to feud with Jinder and commentary DIED during this. Mute it, legit.

I liked Cody here, especially the way he brought it all around to “I’m free to do anything I want.”‘ I’m pretty pumped for this four-way. All four guys rule and the last four-way I recall on SD (the New Year show) was one of the most outrageously fun matches of the year.

And it was pretty damn good, although its one of those matches that I remember almost nothing about 24 hours after I saw it. I do remember Bryan DYING on a Doomsday Device though. Its funny that they do that to Bryan any chance they get since he takes such a great bump off it. Finally it all breaks down, Orton DDTs Bryan, goes for an RK-BARRETT PULLS HIM OUT. I saw it coming and it was perfectly done. Then Cody swoops in for the cheap heel win, but Bryan kicks out, holds on and transitions right into the LeBell Lock for the win! FANTASTIC finish.

I like the post-match. We went in with simple Orton/Barrett, Cody/Booker and Bryan/Henry lines, and they added Orton/Cody and Cody/Bryan to the equation, so now its not so obvious where things go from here.

In any case, Henry vs Bryan in the cage! That sh*t is so, so going to rule the world, I cannot wait.