The Redman Report: WWE Raw 31/10/11: “We dont want any trouble from you, or your mom.”

What can I possibly say here? There are Muppets…MUPPETS on Raw. Lets get into it.

Rock’s promo was fun enough. It did its part by getting his shots in on Cena first before accepting. There’s a huge believability problem with this match, in the sense that Cena can pretty much beat up Miz and Truth by himself, so facing him and Rock, they have no chance, but whatever. People arent buying this show to see a competitive match, they’re buying to see Rock wrestle again. But still.

Punk vs Henry annoyed me only because I’ve been spoiled by Henry’s unstoppable run so him taking bumps for Punk in 3 minutes was like WTF to me. But whatever. I liked the evil genius of this, Alberto telling Ricardo to attack Henry and Ricardo PETRIFIED of doing it. Again, I just wish Henry didnt sell so much for Ricardo Rodriguez, of all people. I would have enjoyed it better if Henry just no-sold and WSS’d him.

Muppets! This whole bit out on the stage was awesome fun. I dont care, this was great. Kermit and Miss Piggy, Vickie coming out immediately to do the Miss Piggy thing, the “you, or your mom!” bit was fantastic, Swagger suffocating Kermit, the Muppets doing Zack Ryder, all of it. Santino making the save is so perfect, “John Laryngitis” is great, and I dont know if anyone else caught it, but Kelly coming out, Santino puckering up and Kelly no-selling and kissing Kermit RULED. I laughed forever. Also,

Piggy: Hey you, come back here!
Kermit:  Yeah, come back here!

This was ALL awesome. Muppets rule.

Of course, Halloween isnt complete without a Divas Dress Up Battle Royal. But man, it just aint the same without Victoria. The Sumo Suit, the Giant Banana… That woman BOSSING Divas Halloween Dress Up Contests made me fall in love with her. One of the main reasons for our whirlwind marriage, in fact.  I miss Victoria so much.

Anywho, I must say I enjoyed the Bellas as Mario and Luigi and AJ using her fans as weapons. I enjoyed the Kelly/Eve vs Mario Bros work, as well as the finish, even if just for Beth selling it so well. Beth/Eve I was a hell of a lot of fun so I’m totally down with a rematch.

Still miss Victoria. Damn you, Double Double E.

Sheamus and Beaker! Excellent sh*t. Loved the super potion bit, loved their meeting and loved Sheamus taking care and spiking his hair. Muppets rule.

Fun little tag match here, highlight of which being the epic RANA-Wasteland-DDT spot that I MARKED for. Awesome playing off the Trent spot. This is going to be a hell of a 6-man tag on Smackdown sometime soon.

Statler and Waldorf! BEST. RAW. EVER.

OK, when Alberto and Show came out I thought this was a terrible idea, but as it turns out, they had a HELL of a match. Seriously, I enjoyed that immensely. I really liked them going long, and busting out all these giant-slaying spots. I like it when long submission spots work like that, I thought the epic sleeper worked really well. Also really dug the part where they went outside and teased a countout a few times, before coming back in and continuing the war. And it came off as a war, by this point. In the end I was really impressed with Alberto lasting this long and basically dominating Show. And the finish was hilarious. Colour me impressed with that effort, that was quite a war.

Now, Punk. You can see the logic in that Alberto blatantly screwed him out of the title shot an hour ago, but after Alberto had done so well in that match and had this guy come out and torture him when he was defenseless, it was a bit too Asshole Babyface for me.

More Muppets! The cynical side of me wonders if Miss Piggy with Morrison was a cheap shot of some kind. Hornswoggle legit having Muppets tattooed on himself is just kind of weird. But they nailed this with the TINY BAG FOR KERMIT. That almost makes up for 6 months of paper bags. Muppets rule.

Cant believe I didnt see this coming, but Santino and Swagger were going along nicely until BEAKER! THE POTION! YES! YES! Hahahaha, that was COMPLETELY fun. Muppets RULE!

And now we get DOLPH. This show is great. Zack just continues to be over, the “Lets go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo” chants were hilarious. This was actually a fun little match, I LOVED the finish, with the false finish (executed really well by that Referee, by the way) then the screwjob tease and then the real happy win! Dolph f*cking SOLD Zack’s finish like a motherf*cker too, Jesus. This show has been nothing but fun so far.

STATLER AND WALDORF!

Statler: Hey Waldorf, John Cena is next! You can’t see me!
Waldorf: I can’t see anything!
Statler: Well he’s going to be wrestling The Miz, so consider yourself lucky!

EPIC F*CKING WIN. This whole bit was so great. Muppets have been the best sh*t ever, f*ck anyone who hates this. Muppets RULE.

I really enjoyed Cena vs Miz too. It didnt start out as much, but the second half was REALLY good. I think Cena’s epic LARIAT OF DEATH kicked it off. Awesome move. The Lita DDT also hit hard. This was great down the stretch with all of the moves and counters and heat. Really enjoyed.

Truth as Scream was so awesome, but they really took me down by having Cena beat them both up again. So f*cking stupid. They had one Smackdown of protection, that was it. Its not the end of the world because again, people are buying this show on spec, not because of any heat Awesome Truth get before the show, but God. At least make it interesting. That was quite a bummer of an ending to what was one of the most FUN Raws in forever.

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