The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 7/10/11: Now (officially) the A Show!

So, what will be the fallout from the biggest, most shocking, most monumental news to EVER come out of Monday Night Raw? Thats right, Big Show is back! No seriously folks, The Walk Out. Check it.

Teddy Long is wearing one of the most FANTASTIC suits of all time. It is the reddest of red. The way they’re playing it is, everyone walked out on Raw, but are willing to work SD since Teddy is in charge, not Hunter. As #1 on Team Smackdown, I fully support this idea of Raw being boycotted so Smackdown ends up with ALL the stars. Not that it will happen, of course, but its a cool thought.

Team Heel Lawsuit up in this. Giving Alberto his own entrance is at least something. Christian insisted it was all obviously due to his initiative, which was great, but it was CODY RHODES who owned this segment. Unlike on Raw where all the heels spoke to crickets before Vickie got all the heat and embarrassed them, here Vickie was as over as usual, but when it was Cody’s turn the people HATED him as well, and he was great playing off it telling them to shut up. The guy is really looking good lately. Good matches made too.

I was interested in Alberto vs Cara I, especially since rumours are that they dont get along. So, as it happens, they’re a minute or so into this match and Alberto KILLS HIM DEAD. He German’d this poor bastard RIGHT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD. It was gruesome, one of the most brutal headdrops you’ll see in WWE. And he followed it right up with a nasty kick to the head too, without waiting for the ref to ask him if he was still alive. You NEED to see this German. Somehow Cara managed to work the rest of the match despite being clinically dead, and it was actually quite a good little match. Easily the best Cara match in a good long while and shows he is capable of something when he’s on.

This guy was so in the ground I really did feel bad for him when Cara II’s music hit and he came to beat him up after the match. Hopefully they only need to do one more blow-off, because thats a match I really dont need to see again.

Air Boom! I like them getting everyone’s reactions to The Walk Out, and again I’m all for the idea that Raw is off-limits so now Smackdown is the only show in town.

Beatdown! This was a great, great beatdown, Vickie’s Boys looked like a million bucks here, and Dolph in particular looked like a beast kicking the crap out of these guys, I dont think he’s ever looked like such a badass. They havent busted out “babyface is stranded without his tag team partner” in a while, so this was a nifty little angle to do here. Plus, it made for the return of Angry Kofi! Kofi was great wanting to immediately pummel the crap out of these f*ckers before he was cut off with this INSANE kick. The heels look good again beating down Kofi. Bourne makes it back to the apron and tags himself in but immediately gets pinned, because he was already hurt. This was such a fun little angle, and, as if I needed a reason, I really want to see the (proper) rematch.

For the second time I forgot that Alicia was a babyface as she came out to work. She’s good enough fodder for Beth though. This literally went about 30 seconds, if that. But, I enjoyed the post-match, with the Dreaded Nattie Wacky Hold, bending Alicia in nasty, Melina-esqe knots, Alicia selling well, and Nattie doing the mic work. Good stuff. And I never got to mention this, but I’m psyched for some sort of blow off with Kelly after she went all Psycho Kelly on Raw.

Well, its the Big Show. I’m going to say this with 100% seriousness: this was the best promo in FOREVER.

I love, love, LOVED this with all my heart. I already knew Show was great at being a likeable babyface, but wow, he was just incredible here. He was talking about how he watched the footage every day he was out, being unable to do simple tasks with his injury, and he actually BROKE DOWN INTO TEARS recounting his ordeal and how much he went through. I mean, just like his sell job at MITB, if you didnt know any better, you would all sit there and swear blind that he was legit injured. He was that emotional. He also seemed a little overwhelmed with the response because he was really over in the building and there were “Big Show” chants galore. So in the end he parlays this into challenging Mark Henry for the title and the people are actually going nuts for him. This was a great f*cking promo. What an immense man Big Show is.

And it gets even better, because MARK HENRY. Henry comes out here, stands 20 yards away up the ramp, and basically says “Who have you ever beaten?” and claims that Show has been chilling for the last four months on a “vacation” that Henry gave him out of the goodness of his heart. What a heel. Henry says he’ll answer him on his own time, on Mark Henry Time, and Show threatens to break Henry’s ankle back if he doesnt accept, which you actually believe can happen after all this. So we get a tease for the end of the show. This was such a success on all levels. Cant say enough good things.

We actually got them asking Orton why he wasnt at The Walk Out, and he says something like he’d deal with Hunter like a man if he had an issue with him, and also that he doesnt follow the pack. Which makes sense.

Unlike Booker T, that crazy cat, who claimed he walked out on Raw “to go to the bathroom” and had no idea why people thought he was actually Walking Out. I’m not kidding at all, by the way, this is legit. Kind of reminds me of “I had no idea people would take my suicide note as a suicide note!”

Have to admit, as painfully boring as Jinder vs Zeke seemed to be, and was, the whole deal of Zeke going “shh!” to him was kind of funny in a corny, pro wrestling way. Jinder needs to go soon, surely, he’s terrible and they’re already jobbing him out to the dregs.

Orton/Sheamus vs Cody/Christian was a really good main event. Heels bein’ heels, and the babyfaces really kicking ass. Sheamus looks great every time he works these days. I really liked the finish, with Orton tagging in and immediately hitting the RKO, it was abrupt, but not in a bad, “they didnt build to the finish” way, they were already down the stretch and it was more like one of those “finish can come at any time” things. Good match.

And now, more Henry and Show! I’m already excited just for this segment. So Henry comes out like a complete douche and says “My answer is…no lol” – this is MARK HENRY, he’s not scared by someone threatening him. So man, Show STORMS out and just starts WAILING ON HIM like a madman. He was freaking laying into Henry here, and Henry was being pummeled – which, even after the last few months of no-selling, was completely believable due to Show’s size and established knockout power, plus the emotion he was expressing on this show. This was Angry Show. We get security out for Show to lay them all out, and he looked like a beast Chokeslamming a million dudes. He broke away for this GIGANTIC SPEAR which just looked fantastic. They teased Henry making it out, Show brings him back but gets barricaded and Henry, incensed, sets up for another WSS through the table. But Show COUNTERS and CHOKESLAMS HENRY THROUGH THE TABLE. That was a crazy ass spot, again, made all the more effective by it being the biggest bump Henry has taken in forever. He chairs the ankle and drags the stairs over to basically attempt to dive off the stairs onto the floor and Henry’s ankle, which was actually a frightening prospect. Teddy makes the save by giving Show a title match as long as he doesnt jump and kill both Henry and himself. So instead he just picks up a chair and cracks the f*ck out of Henry’s back, which seems to be in the acceptable range of violence. Henry was laid out like a motherf*cker here, for the first time during this angle.

THIS WAS SO GREAT. I really dont know what else to say apart from that, this was such a great angle, both segments, and I seriously hope they do move Orton onto something else and go with Henry/Show 100%. This is so much fun, I cant wait for this match. Mark Henry is a god on earth right now.