The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 28/10/11: I LOVE EVERYTHING.

ARGH! ARGH ARGH ARGHHHHHHHHH! Yeah, its one of THOSE shows. Do NOT skip!

I actually missed the opening conversation between Christian and Punk. World Series, Game 6, St. Louis, Cardinals coming back from being one strike away from death, TWICE, to win the game in the 11th and set up the decider, yeah, I missed the start of Smackdown. But it was Christian and Punk conversing, I’m sure it was fine.

Awesome Truth vs Air Boom was a hell of a fun opener. Just a really good tag match, the heel team being heels, and the babyfaces selling and being good. Its a small thing (even for me), but the open where Miz crowded Kofi into his corner and pounced once Kofi took his eyes away to look at Truth was a great little move. Heels being heels. I like the double kick AB did, for a split second I imagined them going into a MCMG double superkick routine. They didnt. Anyway, fun tag stretch and Little Jimmy’s Finale is pretty cool. Thoroughly enjoyed.

The good thing about this angle is that it means they’ll feel they have to keep Miz and Truth strong before the PPV. For a nice change. Miz certainly comes across more badass now in this team than he ever did during his entire title reign.

Backstage, in what I assume is the geek locker room, Bryan and Tyson argue about the respective merits of Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart as performers to plug the DVD. I actually like them making a mini angle out of it, with the natural alignment of Bryan on Team Shawn and Tyson on Team Hart. Any anyway, this match sounds good.

Speaking of booking good matches, I dont give a crap about Hornswoggle, or Aksana, but in the middle here Teddy made Orton vs Dolph, which if that isnt the top of the hour 15 minute Smackdown match I demand it to be, I…well, wont be very happy. Orton and Dolph have had at least 2 great matches this year already, and they werent even on Smackdown.

Anyway, Barrett vs Trent was quite the enjoyable squash. Trent is probably the best squashee in the company, and Barrett has really come along in the ring. Cant get enough of the clinched knees. Finish was awesome, Trent went for a ‘rana and Barrett caught him and hoisted him up into Wasteland. Fun stuff.

OH GOD OH GOD ORTON VS DOLPH!!!

New best match you have ever seen. This was AWESOME. Dolph is peaking right now and Orton is a man possessed this year. Everything was great right from the opening lock up struggle. They got right into some great work, the rollup battle in particular ruled. BUT, the best part of the first segment was Dolph punching Orton right in the face, Orton no sells and gets angry and Dolph BOLTS. We do the heel run around thing, Vickie puts herself between the two but Orton does an ORTON LEAPFROG over Vickie and Lariats Dolph! That was SO AWESOME, just the best spot in forever.

I should mention somewhere in here that I loved Cody on commentary, whenever Josh would ask a question he didnt like he’d no sell and say “Sorry Josh, did you say something?” I laughed. But back to it, the dropkick Dolph hit right after the break was great. I liked Orton doing Cena Strength to get Dolph up into an FU but getting countered anyway. A great little moment was Orton yelling “Shut up!” to Vickie as he was being Chinlocked. Vickie, for her part, was working like a madwoman on the outside. A great woman. Next great detail was Dolph climbing up to the top backwards, facing inwards, so he didnt turn his back on Orton, but Orton STILL lunged over and got him. I like how Orton delivers the Superplex, sort of short and snappy. The striking exchange after this RULED, this led into Orton’s comeback and people were going nuts at this point. Orton went for an RKO, missed, BAM SUPERKICK! ARGH! ORTON’S SELLJOB! ARGH THIS KICKOUT!!! HOOOOOLY SH*T!

I dont even know how to explain that. I mean, BAM, Superkick, Orton sold like a MOTHER, what a man, I mean this man had DIED, then Dolph did the cover where he sits down and grabs both legs, but he pulled them so hard that actually Orton accidentally slipped out from under him before the three. I just…wow. THAT. WAS. INCREDIBLE. BEST NEARFALL EVER. I mean, honestly, it was the best nearfall I’ve seen since Taker kicked out of the Tombstone. I’m throwing sh*t around the room at this point. Mind. Blown.

Anyway, obviously after that Dolph went for a finish and got RKO’d and thats that. But Holy Mother of God, WHAT A MATCH. Thats the best TV match in forever, and the best Orton/Dolph match to date, and I have COMPLETELY lost my sh*t, as can be seen by my writing an entire paragraph to describe one nearfall. You need to watch this match, and especially that nearfall.

I LOVE EVERYTHING.

And now we interview…the newest member of Mexican America, Sin Cara Negro? Anyway, people talking in a language I cant understand is boring as hell (except for Booker T…boom boom) but I’m pretty sure I heard him say “Hunico”, so he might go back to that name going forward.

Woah Bryan vs Tyson! This is the best 3 minute match I can recall seeing in a good long while. I love these guys working together, they just do things so smoothly, and with such pace too. 3 minutes of breakneck holds, counters and strikes. Dug the Frankensteiner leading into the finish, and the final struggle between LeBell Lock and Sharpshooter before Bryan finally won out. At least the man won a match and hopefully the angle moves on from there. Enjoyed, and this is turning into another one of those Smackdowns where every single segment is great.

Wow, I say that, and Cole starts talking. That’ll teach me. Honestly I just ignored it all, so I’m fine.

Big Show in a Suit! Now, thats what I’m talking about. This was a good promo putting over the match and the finish and how physical it was. I appreciated this kind of understated, realistic selling more than the idea of having them limp out or be bandaged up or something. Show is great. Speaking of great, MARK HENRY coming out the same way, and stopping on the stairs and hiding behind the corner post to tell Show that “I’m sore because of the ring, you’re sore because I hurt you!”  and that he retained the title and didnt need a rematch was awesome douchebaggery. Henry’s ability to be a complete asshole heel while not losing an inch of his badass aura is amazing. He’s also perfected the “tease getting into the ring” spot as well. Cannot WAIT for this rematch. The idea of these dudes throwing each other around in MSG is a trillion buys.

And we STILL have this main event, Punk vs Christian in a WWE These Guys Are Miscast Match. Although to be fair, I’m sure they worked last year on SD as heel Punk vs face Christian, and since I dont even remember it, it cant have been that great. But whatever, this should be good.

And it was. There was a spot early where Punk didnt get up for Christian’s flying forearm and Christian had to tell him to get up so he could knock him down again. I laughed. Halfway through Alberto and Ricardo came out to watch. But the match itself was pretty great, these dudes worked well and the counters and the nearfalls were great. There was a cool crossbody roll-through by Punk, as well as a sweet Kick, and Christian’s draping slap was pretty boss here too. The finish was great, Ricardo was dispatched leading to Alberto crotching Punk on the top, which brought Sheamus out for the babyface distracting save and Punk finally hits the GTS. Really fun shenanigans, and a great way to cap off a great show.