The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 12/8/11: The REAL DEAL.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Or is it the New and Improved Sin Cara? Find out TONIGHT, on FRIDEE NIGHT SMACK DOWN. Also, Mark Henry and Sheamus.

Time to play the game. NO WAI! Again he takes an inordinate amount of time to say…nothing, although Bryan/Alberto II sounds good. The Christian bit with the lawsuit that was never going to happen and the whining and the Hunter putting himself over the guy again, not fun to watch. I am completely sick of Christian the chickensh*t, whining , ‘legal team’ heel. I thought I’d enjoy his heel work despite it all, but I havent all that much. Its Miz all over again, every week he has less and less credibility. And on top of that Hunter still has to put himself over the guy for like the third week in a row. Lameness.

I do, however, approve of Christian vs Sheamus. This was fine for what it was but there wasnt much time to it. Dear God I hope Christian doesnt retain, more of this lame sh*t with Sheamus will suck.

NATBETH! It took me approximately 1.2 seconds to decide that they’re my new favourite tag team. Enjoyed Kaitlyn trying the waistlock and Nattie going “LOL” and butting her. Also AJ doing her Rey wheelbarrow and Beth no-selling it and Glam Slamming her to death. Not enough time for some real ass kicking, but I legit cannot wait to see Beth kick the crap out of Kelly. Sh*ts gonna rule.

I love that Aksana comes with her own background music. Reminds me of the time they were doing the Divas Competition a couple years ago, and as they were backstage with Teddy about to announce an elimination, a drumroll started playing out of nowhere and they all stopped and sold it. Fun times.

Feeding Curtis to Henry actually makes sense in a “kill off this jobber’s ‘push’ for the lulz” kind of way.

Sin Cara! Kind of! So, here’s the deal. They played it completely straight as if this guy was the real Sin Cara. The only thing was that since Hunico is visibly bigger than Mistico, they mentioned that he’d bulked up. At this point they were playing it for both scenarios – Mistico coming back as the original Cara or just Hunico as the new Cara from this point. Cara II also did some different moves and, to me at least, looked noticeably different than Cara I flying through the air, he’s bigger and much less graceful at flying.

Having said that, the match itself was good as the usual Cara showcase match. Plus I really liked his springboard senton into Lionsault finisher, I hope that is kept as at least a move no matter what happens.

I was actually looking forward to Bryan vs Alberto II, since their first match on Raw was really good, but this…was not. I mean, it was fine, dont get me wrong, but it was a 4 minute match with Michael Cole on commentary. Neither of these guys should be losing in 4 minutes to anyone, and f*ck a Michael Cole. Disappointed.

CODY RHODES! I’ve gone off him recently, but hey, he’s still one of my guys and its still nice. Zeke wasnt doing anything at all so its a good move. Match was fine for what it was. I genuinely laughed at Zeke rising from the dead to kill Ted. I liked all of the stuff with Cody mortified and not helping him, which was all a good, if not really obvious tease of their break up. Cody vs Ted for the IC Title in the future sounds good, if only for the matches.

Somewhere during this show they played ANOTHER great Mark Henry video, this time detailing each Pillmanising of Show, Kane and Koz. Aww, Kozlov. I never, ever imagined that the day he was finally fired I would actually be so upset.

Enjoyed Mark Henry squashing Curtis. I dont care about Curtis, and hey, MARK HENRY. Good tease and save. I also liked that along with the usual “heel fakes coming to fight and laughs”, Henry picked up Curtis outside and KILLED him on the floor, to show off his badassery at the same time he’s backing away. Really, really cannot wait for this match. Best thing on Smackdown by far.

Orton vs Khali was, well, that, but I enjoyed the finish. CHOP OF DOOM NEARFALL ON RANDY ORTON made my day. But I really liked the Khali rope tie into the DDT into the Head Squeeze into the GIANT LEAPING RKO. Just about the best bump Khali has ever taken.

No idea what the deal was with the “I have a secret” promo. It just reminded me of the equally lame Miz deal before I Quit, which was “I have a secret plan for another wildly contrived bullsh*t heel finish that never gets me over.” I hope to GOD they dont do something screwy here. Please. Just have a match, Orton wins clean, BLOW IT THE F*CK OFF. So sick of their crap.

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