TNA Telegraph – 23rd June 2011 – Maybe wrestling might just matter a little bit…

So let me start off by apologising for the lateness of the blog and the lack of pictures. It was my birthday this weekend and so I haven’t had time to get the pictures I normally do. however luckily this week there was actual an abundance of good work going on so really there’s not that much to poke fun at! Anyway lets get on with the show.

The show starts with clips from last week and the  Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and  Sting losing it and putting his face paint on Hogan.

We cut to backstage and Jeff Jarrett who is following Bischoff asking to be part of the Bound For Glory Series. Eric says no because of the Network making the rules and he made the stipulation. Eric says Jeff needs to lead TNA in taking over of Mexico. Jeff seems to like the idea of being in charge of Mexico and the name Dos double J. Actually it reads as if this was unnecessary but actually having Jeff not weasel his way back in straight off gives the blowoff to the Angle angle a more concrete finish. Jarrett apparently has done some shows in Mexico and won a title there so TNA branching into Mexico seems a real thing and tying it to a storyline is a nice touch

Here’s Eric in the ring and he calls out Sting who’s music plays even before he’s really finished speaking! Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Sting responds witch a super sarcastic voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings when he cursed at him. Sting is saying that he’s going to snap Eric’s neck, wow he’s really playing up this pschyo persona and I have to say he’s much better than last week I’m really digging it. He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen and it will always be Hogan and Bischoff. Bischoff says Sting may have a rematch on the 14th but he can change that. Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and he’ll see if Sting even makes it to July 14th. Sting goes back into his psycho voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has to pay. Sting hits him in the gut a couple of times and struts around the ring. Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop on Bischoff and then bizzarely pulls him to his feet so he can put on the facepaint. Then Sting pulls Eric back into the middle of the ring and locks in Scorpion Death Lock as we go to a break with the hold still on.

We get a replay of some of the BFG Series matches that happened on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ cleanly though I think Gunner busted his nose again!. Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero. I applaud TNA for building this thing up and of course saying matches at house shows count is a great way to get bottoms on seats for the live shows.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray –

Ray controls from the start but misses a splash in the corner and Steiner takes over with some solid shots if slightly slow looking and does his pushups after the elbow thing. Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again although it looked like Steiner had the same idea only Bully’s legs are longer. Ray then goes for three covers in a row off . Bully sets up Steiner for the Bubba Bomb but Steiner escapes the full nelson. Steiner comes back with some nice looking suplexes but the referee gets caught in the crossfire. Massive overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and nopw it’s the Steiner Recliner. Steiner looked pretty awkward doing this like he couldn’t sit down enough to really lock it in.  Ray taps but there’s no referee. Scott goes to check on him allowing Bully Ray to find his other chain and hit Steiner in the throat. Bully pins Steiner for the win which is odd because the chain shot to the throat isn’t exactly a knockout blow in pro wrestling terms but whatever. A thoroughly good match even from Steiner and so far this show has been excellent.

We cut to the Immortal locker room and Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to go take care of Sting. Anderson comes in and Bischoff yells at him for not helping when Sting attacked him. Eric says he won the title from Sting because of him. Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack. Bizarrely Eric then says for Anderson come over to Immortal but Anderson stands there. Eric says think about it to close the segment. Bit weird really and the fact that Anderson isn;t part of Immortal is sort of stupid given that every top heel in the company is. The more he stays away from them the less heelish he seems. Even if he said something like “I won’t join you put put me down as a contractor” or something where he’ll do stuff for Immortal without joining them fully would work.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back including in very small spaces behind stuff and thwacking the backstage set with Bully’s chain.

Tonight X Divsion show case has three indie guys in it and the first one we get a run down of is Zema Ion which I’m pretty sure is pronounced like eon but Taz and Tenay insist it’s Eye-on. He’s not massively personable and I don’t really get if he’s a good or bad guy.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB – Velvet and Tessmacher come to the ring to Velvet’s music like a couple of strippers. We get it TNA they are good looking lasses but it’s so in your face that it ends up for me being an awful turn off. Velvet gets on the mic and says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract so they are doing things by the book.. What does that even mean? ODB and Jackie come out and the faces dive up[ the ramp and it’s a big brawl. I haven’t heard the bell so I assume this isn’t part of the match? Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break.

Back from the adverts and I guess the bell must have rang during the break as it appears to be a normal tag match. bloody stupid way to start a match. Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but she manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there. ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag. Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down. The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs. Is anyone else really tired of commentators going “Does that really hurt a girl?” because I am and Taz does it every single time you’d have thought the empirical evidence of seeing several women fall over clutching their groin would have convinced him by now.

Anyway the match was awful. Tessmacher has no business even pretending to be wrestler. Velvet Sky may look hot but she’s pants in the ring. Jackie has been as entertaining as Jackie has always been which is not very much and ODB just yells at everyone and then falls down to show off her panties. If she’s the Anti-Knockout why can’t she dress in something like the t-shirt and three quarter length shorts like a couple of weeks ago?

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight, again I’ve no idea if we should cheer him or not and whilst it;s nice to get some background on these guys it should also at least clue us in to whether they are faces or heels.

Tara is backstage saying she has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to scream at her. Madison gets slammed into the wall and Tara says for her to never touch her again. why aren’t we getting more of this?

Backstage with Storm and Roode who apparently still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series and has a match tonight. If he’s not cleared to wrestle then he can’t wrestle dipsh*ts…

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around into various bots of furniture. Abyys and Gunner stay out the way. Bully Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing and then offers Steiner a spot in Immortal. Steiner throws the chain into something that I swear actually smashes and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money – Roode vs. Crimson to start off with and roode hits a neck snap but Crimson knocks him down. Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in. Crimson hits his cravat/Knee/Neckbreaker spot and Morgan tags in. Storm hits the Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combination for two . Discus lariat gets two for Morgan and the tag  goes to Crimson. Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to tag in Roode. Morgan is in also and Roode’s shoulder seems to be better againr. Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after Morgan’s leg. Forearm puts Morgan down but Roode jumps into a chokeslam attempt. Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar as a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex to Crimson and we get the Beer Money shout spot and Morgan slides in for a double clothesline. You wonder why that doesn’t happen more often. Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again now which gets less plausible everytime it magically recovers. Storm gets the back body drop type move that Beer Money do to the floor  onto Crimson but Roode favours the arm and walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin. Apparently Morgan only gets the points which…. yeah, that makes no sense at all. Decent match though and everyone did something that made them look good.

Abyss says he follows two warriors Sun-Tzu and Bischoff. Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’s going to do.

Eric Young is  wandering around Disney land looking for someone, apparently Popeye. Not as funny as you’d have hoped.

Apparently AJ Styles has some big news for destination X so he’s in the ring. He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV. AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots. He lists off some of the great X guys over the years and then Joe’s music begins to play. Joe says that AJ was the original X division leader but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got there. He says AJ may be the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls. out comes Daniels to the Fourtune theme. Daniels teases suggesting a three way but says AJ vs. himself is the ultimate match the fans want and it’s accepted. Joe’s is pissed off. This was a bit rubbish really as I don’t really think anyone wants AJ V Daniels without Joe but it’s fairly safe to assume that’s what it will end up being anyway. I wonder what AJ was going to announce before Joe and Daniels came out?

Kaz and Daniels backstage and Kazarian isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did because of AJ being in fortune as well. Daniels says it’s all about healthy competition and leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune. Kaz insults Joe and gets beaten up.

Dakota Darsow is the last guy in the X division showcase match He’s the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man. This guy comes across as an arrogant d*ck  abit like Luke from the Tough Enough show this season so he’s at least got over some kind of personality that the other two didn’t and we go straight to this match with the other two in ring and Darsow getting his own introduction..

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion- Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what coluor which helps remind the goldfish who is who. Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two. Some fast paced back and forth from Pallacios,  Darsow and Ion and Xima hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the efloor. Palacios and Xima trade for a bit and Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios and Darsow go at it on the floor and Ion goes to the top and all but misses a really short corkscrew 360 . Palacios is quick enough to recognise he’s going to miss so dives in to take a little of the impact. Darsow sells like he took some of the move. we get back the ring Darsow hits a moonsault on Xima but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up. Superplex attempt is broken up by Darsow who kicks Ion on the top. Xima knocks him off the top and hits a pretty crappy looking 450 for the win

No where near as good as last weeks match unsurprisingly but Pallacios for me looked really good in the ring, much more aware than the other two. Darsow probably looks like he’d be able to give some personality to the division with some kind of proper 2nd generation gimmick. Ion is a spot monkey and he botched his biggest spot. He also is wearing the stupidest in ring gear I’ve ever seen. I hope the other two get a chance over this guy.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV as he’s the originator of the X division style. Jerry Lynn comes up behind RVD making a face and Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves. RVD is all like “Woah, that was Jerry Lynn!” So that’ll be on the PPV then which is good because RVD/Lynn could be seriously good viewing.

Winter vs. Mickie James – Street Fight – This was going on in the back when we came back from a break and Winter is dominating and starts to whip Mickie with her leather belt. It always looks so staged when someone is crawling to a designated place whilst taking a beating, why doesn’t Mickie leg it like a normal person would. They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from Winter and does a  Thesz Press off part of the set to take over. they both roll down the ramp and Mickie hits that funny looking rana she does by lifting herself up on the floor. This then goes into the ring which is retarded since this is a street fight.Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her lung blower type thing. Wait, if this is a street fight then it’s no DQ? So why the set up behind the ref’s back? I’m pretty sure old Earl was actually facing Angelina as she came into the ring as well! . Angelina is smiling post match which makes her marginally  more interesting than before. Taz and Tenay make a big thing of Winter being in line for a title shot which is again stupid since Love/James is the bout for the PPV.

Abyss vs. Sting – We get the slow bell and Borash intro for Abyss but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro. Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight and it does kind of remind you that Sting despite his age is a big guy. They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two. Abyss picks up the Art of War book which is just…. it’s just stupid… oh and hits Sting with it but that isn’t a DQ. Next he goes for his barbed wire glove. Sting avoids getting hit and manages to hit the Stinger Splash to the back of Abyss in the corner. Scorpion Death Drop only manages to get a two count, wow not expecting that kick out to be honest. Sting gets the glove and smacks Abyss in the head  for the DQ. Abyss is busted open quite a lot for someone who’s been poked with barb wire. Sensible ending really as it works for Sting’s unhinged persona and means Abyss doesn’t lose the match.

Anderson comes out for a staredown with Sting and Sting wails away on Abyss with the glove whilst staring at Anderson as we end the show.

Definitely the best impact that’s been on for a while, pacing was really good and the gaps between the matches didn’t feel stretched. even the street fight was bearable by Knockout standards. Velvet/ODB/Tessmacher/Jackie is a f*cking train wreck though and of all the tedious, dull crap TNA have put out this really needs to be the time they say “hang on, this really is sh*t”. I dug Sting this week a lot, this kind of unhinged vigilante gimmick works for me. It allows him to be confrontational but not necessarily have to be in full on 15 minute matches at the top of the card. It also legitimizes the amount of time Hogan and Bischoff get because the properly have a nemesis now.

The X division match was ok but the wrong guy won for me. All the other matches worked and were solid to enjoyable. This one is definitely worth watching even if not much happened that really pushed stuff onwards.