The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 3/6/11: NOOOOOOOOO! (plus return of MattVP)

Tonight, on FRIDEE NIGHT SMACK DOWN, its the Biggest Match in Smackdown History. Apparently. Anyway, it should be good. As should the rest of the show. Plus, the Christian Saga continues.

Every now and then Smackdown opens with these “Tonight, on Friday Night Smackdown…” preview videos…and they RULE. I’ve always liked them.

Christian. And Henry! Wow, I’m looking forward to this. Or…not. 4 minutes?! For these guys? Man. Such a short match into such a clean Henry loss was disappointing. One LOL moment was Christian going up top and Booker screaming about “I seen this a million times, he gon’ hit his big Missile Dropkick!” before Christian goes for…a crossbody. You cant predict Christian up top when he has so many moves. Anyway, this was a fine short match to be sure, good work, but so disappointing since they could have such a good proper SD match.

And now a promo. It was fine. I liked them showing the replay and Christian getting to explain that Randy accidentally caused the ref to miss the “6 count”, so people clearly understand the point of the finish. I also liked them continuing the “poll the crowd” angle and again Teddy ignored it, and his request. But jeez, making a Special Guest Referee just for the sake of more close-up TENSION between he and Randy is lame.

Cool Sheamus video here. I like it when they hype up big main events like this.

They’re trying again. Another wacky inset babyface meeting. Worse than the first meeting. Tamina needs more flattering gear. This was, well, the same as last week. AJ could really be something flying around as a female Rey. Tamina’s Samoan Drop finisher is pretty cool. This angle is…well, I dont even know. Nothing against them, but going from Michelle, Layla, Kelly and Beth to Tamina, Alicia Kaitlyn and AJ is…frustrating.

CODY RHODES. This was not his best promo, so we’re crowning a new champion next week. He had points to make that I could gather (Bryan looks like the average Joe in the crowd so I hate him too because I hate the crowd), and putting in the line about the WHC was good, but he was rambling all over the place and didnt express himself well, for the first time probably. But the good news is, he’s feuding with Daniel Bryan.

So, Jinder working. They’ve done this well, in that they didnt use vignettes to introduce Jinder, but they’ve used the Khali angle instead, which is the same thing because by the time he has his first match he’s already established this character and already has people knowing to boo him. Squash was fine, it was just a squash. I totally dig the Full Nelson Slam though, it looked good. He’s a tiny bit too goofy looking and I cannot possibly care about Khali and Jinder myself, but he’s doing fine so far.

THERE WILL BE NO STOPPING. Well, there will be for the moment. This match was fine, but the problem is that you knew there was absolutely no way there would be a finish, which made it all unbelievable. Barrett walking out on his team would normally be fine, but by now its just another “tension!” angle between Nexus/Corre/whoever for about the hundredth week in a row.

Bryan vs Ted! I’m pumped. They had a great little match on NXT around January that literally nobody saw, and WOW, this was another one. Totally fun stuff. Cool moves and rollups to start. And BAM, that was the best Shinsuke Rope Run Lariat bump you EVER saw, he MURDERED him. Cool tope and everything else into the finish, which was sweet. Totally fun stuff. Then Cody goes in and SIN CARA! The babyface warrior! I love it. This tag team match is going to F*CKING RULE THE WORLD.

WTF.

Johnny Curtis debuts on Smackdown, explains why they’re ignoring the tag title shot stip, and then…pours milk all over himself. For what reason I cannot ascertain. To me this screamed of “lets make fun of the new guy lol”. This poor guy.

Championship intros, way to go. This is starting with lots of time, good news. Actually turned into a really good match, probably above average for what Orton and Sheamus have done. Nothing blowaway, but some really good spots and it just built really well. Some good striking here too. Another thing to mention is that Booker T was allowed to be a serious ex-pro commentator and he was really great, explaining what the world title means and why guys go for pin covers and what not. Makes it all the more frustrating that he’s busy bickering with Cole the rest of the time. Anyway, this was a pretty good match. Finish was…weird. I mean, at least he did it after Sheamus ran into him, but we all know it was an accident so it was a little AB. Anyway, happy ending, ish. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOD DAMN IT DOUBLE DOUBLE E. BOO.

I’m looking forward to Christian/Orton with the new dynamic, but for now I’m devastated over the loss of my babyface workrate. Pro wrestling mourns. Especially after his last match as a babyface was a FOUR MINUTE MATCH. Bugger the hell off.

*FLASHBACK to 2007: Matt Hardy & MVP*

VIP Lounge: MVP & Matt Hardy, Masterlock Challenge: Matt Hardy, Smackdown 17/8/07

Its been a while, mainly because the week before today’s episode there was a Matt vs Finlay match I searched for an couldnt find, so I gave up discouraged. Anyway, we pick up where we left off with Matt and MVP starting the ‘challenges’ to one-up one another two weeks ago.

This week, however, its the debut of the VIP Lounge! MVP is such a…MVP by this point in time I’m astonished to learn that this was the first one. He first announces that because of his serious heart condition (a great use of it since its completely true but also gets heel heat anyway) he’s subbing out of their upcoming SNME boxing match for…Evander Holyfield. I wonder how many people remember Holyfield working for the company. Anyway, Matt comes out and they jaw about MVP losing and Matt going up against Holyfield. Then, the Masterlock Challenge!

I love Chris Masters. He’s one of the best workers in this company and he wasnt even on TV this week. Madness. But thats beside the point here. This was fun with Masters doing the Masterlock stuff, Matt being babyface Matt and MVP standing outside doing running commentary. Matt goes down, Matt makes a comeback and fights so MVP feigns excitement then just walks in and boots him in the gut like a douche. Lol. I liked the tie-in from talking about “fighting” and then MVP yelling at Matt to “fight” here. Its the little things. The Playmaker sucks but whatever, this was a good angle, and MVP finally gets one back on Matt after losing the first challenge.

Next week: SNME, Matt boxes Evander Holyfield.

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