The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 17/6/11: LOLWUT

Strange things be happenin’ over here. What a wacky show. Not bad, just…weird. You’ll see what I mean.

Orton out. I’ve nothing against the guy, and he looks like he’s having fun, but man, he’s just so…uninteresting. Anyway, Christian’s line about giving him an excuse was brilliant. And I like that they didnt ignore the fact that Sheamus pinned Orton last week, and made it a part of the story. Giving Sheamus a shot is logical, but its still going to piss Christian off since he worked so hard for his shot. A heel vs heel main event is weird though.

Ah, the same 6 man. I guess this is the “lets do it properly” rematch. Again with the heat on SC. You can probably teach him to sell off TV guys. Anywho, this was a fun match. I’ll never, EVER get tired of Ted’s Shinsuke running clothesline, its so great. So anyway, Bryan gets the hot tag and runs wild and in the middle of this…he pins Ted. Off a dropkick or something. No idea what the f*ck happened here, it was clearly not a finish and Ted clearly kicked out. Maybe the ref accidentally hit three and felt he had to ring the bell. But, wow, weird finish.

And then 5 minutes later they show a replay and admit the referee f*cked up. I supposed they had do, it was too obvious to ignore.

I like that they make sure they interview the top guys every week backstage. Now if only they’d interview some other guys too, guys who actually need it.

…Kozlov? OK. Literally 24 hours after I praise them for actually waiting to feed Kane to Alberto until a SD guy could legally go back to Raw, and they do this. These people, sometimes. And in an odd way, after terrorising me with his squashes in 2008 Kozlov’s career comes full circle and here he is on SD, being fed to the next useless squasher.

Actually, I take that back. This wasnt a squash. This was a 2 minute competitive match. I dont like Jinder but God, he’s had what, two squashes? And they’re already putting him with another giant and making him competitive with Kozlov. Poor bugger.

And now the Big Show. What on earth is going on here. Show is distraught here and its pretty great. Show is one of the most natural actors in this company, and he’ll never get the credit for it because he’s fat. Woah Mark Henry! Show reacting to Henry was awesome, “Just dont do it!” But he did it, so Show had to kill him and eat him. Show was just going nuts on him with the GNP, and then the death blow of DOOM. This guy is having a breakdown – he got RUN OVER BY A CAR, his own best friend stopped him from bashing the guy who did it, the other guy is laughing about it from afar…and HE’S the one getting sued?! HE’S the one who could lose his job?! Damn right he’s losing his mind. Show is great right now. I hope they dont keep Henry out for too long; as we can clearly see today, the last thing Smackdown needs is LESS bodies.

OH JESUS GOD, A 6 MAN. I knew they’d do this match eventually. AJ working with Tamina was frightening enough, but dear God, the thought of KAITLYN WORKING WITH ROSA MENDES scares the living f*ck out of me. Someone is going to die before his feud is over. OK, as it was this was fine, Nattie did most of the work. I do enjoy her transitions into the Sharpshooter. Kaitlyn hit Rosa and neither of them died. Good work girlies. And AJ going for a Cricifix into BAMSAMOANDROP RULED. Amazingly fine, this was.

Johnny Curtis still sucks.

Usos vs Slater/Gabes was a totally fun little match. Its amazing how much I enjoy both teams when they get to actually work and perform offense. The Usos should be everywhere dancing and Superkicking everyone. The top rope powerslam counter was cool. And the Usos launch into Samoan Drop move is awesome. Good cool double team finish, fun all round here.

Alberto! YOU’RE HOME, PLEASE DONT LEAVE AGAIN! And as I say that, he says he’s not coming back. I mourn. WOAH BIG SHOW IS RUNNING AGAIN. Ahahaha he broke the bottom rope. Alberto winking at Show from the crowd was AWESOME. As was Show going even more nuts and destroying ringside. The man is ANGRY. These angles have been really fun, I’m sad I’ll miss the match now.

I have to admit something here. I was so tired when I was watching this show that I was nodding off during the main event. Nothing against the match, I was just tired. So I missed a lot of it. It was fine, just that heel vs heel is a tough nut to crack, and Christian loses 50% of his appeal in the ring to me when he’s not a babyface.

And WOAHPUNT! What the hell? I just said his a half hour ago, but the last thing Smackdown needs is less bodies. Sheamus better be injured or something otherwise there’s no excuse for this. THEY HAVE NO GUYS ON THE ROSTER. Maybe he comes back as a babyface or something. Who knows. Anyway, between taking out Sheamus, taking out Henry, doing Raw angles on Smackdown for no reason, a heel vs heel main event and the botched 6-man finish, this was one weird ass show.

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