The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 10/6/11: “Make him say ‘DADDY I DONT WANT NO MO’!'”

So, here we are. Heel Turn City. I’m pretty bummed, but hey, life moves on, and the Christian and Orton feud is so good that its hard to complain. So thus, tonight.

Boo Christian, boo to you! Actually as he comes out most people are still cheering him. A high impact heel turn this was not. And all credit to them, they seem to have realised this, and had Christian acknowledge the cheers as a sign that he’s in the right before working the rest of the promo to turn them away. It didnt start that well, but by the end he hit some sort of stride and turned the crowd, so good job. Using Cole was a smart idea to try and get some real heat on him.

A 6-man tag! My God, what an idea. They dont use them as much as they used to, and its a shame. I mean, you have the Corre working here for 6 months, and before that the Nexus, and yet they never seem to just have giant tag team matches. This is the first one I remember since WM. Madness. Anyway, this was quite fun. The Usos are fine whenever they get a chance. Heath Slater has a MOVE (a cool one actually, the turnbuckle into the neckbreaker) and it occurs to me that this is the first time I’ve seen him on actual offense after bumping around for giants the last 6 months straight. Ditto Gabes. This was all good, but of course TENSION~ and we’re finally splitting up the last remnants of Barrett having a group, after 12 months of his career, and we get a babyface win. Now, DO SOMETHING WITH SLATER AND GABES.

The bit where Teddy was putting on a bet was weird. Anyway, Sheamus is angry, so hey, random gimmick match!

And it seems the Corre is actually done. Wow. Gabes trying to sound like a tough guy is hilarious. Its amazing the way they screwed up both of Wade’s groups, so much so that he went from debuting as a Raw main eventer and has ended up as a Smackdown midcarder 12 months later. God did they drop the ball with this guy.

Trent! Oh, Jinder. He’s fine, I just honestly couldnt care. There’s something wrong about his face. Anyway, Trent is a bumper so this was fine.

MY GOD, these women are terrible. I can put up with a lot, but they’re just awful, all of them, except Natalya. Their backstage skit was God awful, just the dirt worst, and the match wasnt anything either. I’m sure Tamina is trying to show off how buff she is (and she’s pretty buff, all credit) but her outfit is really unflattering to her shape and size and she desperately needs a better one. She’s not any good, either. AJ can fly around fine enough but she cant do anything else. This was awkward. I NEED F*CKING LAYLA, NOW.

So, Orton is pissed. The problem with Orton is that even though he’s a better babyface now, even though crowds pop when he comes out, I dont think that many people actually care about him beyond the pop. He’s a guy you pop for, because he’s got a cool move, but he’s not a guy you really care about and buy tickets for. Which is, in a nutshell, the problem with SD right now because their business is dwindling. And a problem for SD is a problem for me.

Anywho, Orton and Christian argued on the Tron. If this was pre-taped they did an EXCELLENT job of timing this live. I’m glad Christian mentioned that he deliberately stopped Sheamus from winning the title. Anyway, what do you know? A no DQ main event. Christian driving away in his car to NEVER RETURN AGAIN TONIGHT. I wonder what could possibly happen?

Ted and Cody. Still not convinced the way to fix Cody is to put him with Ted freaking DiBiase. Not a great backstage skit.

Anywho, Sin Cara! Aww, they’re holding off on the tag match. Wait, no they’re not! Yay! This was fun. SC flying around on Ted was OK, Ted was sort of a half-second slower though. In the middle of this match Booker goes off on a FANTASTIC rant about why he worked with Swagger on Raw. Just an epic run on sentence, this was. I’m not sure the best way to do this match was to have SC sell the entire time before Bryan hits all the offense. But thats a minor complaint because I did enjoy this. Hopefully they do it again.

Johnny Curtis is continuing the “literal metaphors” gimmick. This sucks.

Orton vs Sheamus was a fun brawl, actually. They didnt go overboard with the gimmicks, its 2011, which made it better because it didnt feel like they were throwing everything out there for no reason on TV. Plus the spots had more meaning. It was mostly brawling and running into the stairs and stuff, and it was good work. Orton f*cking KILLED him with a powerslam onto the STEPS, it was BRUTAL. And at the end they went nuts with the kendo stick, Sheamus laid a few into Orton and then Orton F*CKING DRILLED him back, just going NUTS, on Sheamus who was hanging upside down (in the ropes). Finish was good, if not obvious, although it was weird that Christian ran in and failed the first time and they just kept going before the real finish. Looked kinda silly. But the main point, Sheamus draping an arm over, was good. I wonder if Sheamus pinning Orton means Teddy puts him in the match or something. Anyway, maybe not a birthday-worthy episode, but a decent show.

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