The Redman Report: WWE Smackdown 27/5/11: BIZ-NESS

You’ll have to forgive me, I was distracted by the real world while this show was on so I probably wont write the small novel I usually do. But nevertheless, even with one eye on my essay I can tell you this was another fun Smackdown episode.

Randall. He’s smiling at the crowd again. I enjoy Human Randy. And we get the Four Way Contender’s Segment Part II. I actually really liked the callback to the first one, where Teddy polls the crowd, but then he’s like “Nope, you still have to earn it”, like he’s learned his lesson that you cant just poll the fans every time. In sadder news, its fuel for Christian’s heel turn fire. But anyway, this was all good.

Sin Cara! I wonder how many people now think he sucks just because he had to work with CHAVO GUERRERO. Honestly. Anyway, a rematch. Way to go. This was better than the PPV match, but these guys still dont work that well together and Chavo needs to go far, far away. He seems to be keeping the La Mistica slam thingy too, against my better judgment. Although it looked better here too. Anyway, SC needs to move onto something better immediately.

Cody! WITH NO TED! Hallelujah. Wow, speaking of which, cutting a promo on God. I liked that. I do wish he hadnt gone so far down the usual heelish  “crowd is ugly” route instead of the original self-hating “I’m ugly” stuff it was before, that was far more interesting. Anyway, OH GOD Cody vs Bryan! I am so up for this. And what a cool ass match this was. Bryan doing the surfboard fakeout to the knee stomp was awesome, I havent seen that since 2009. This was really good stuff, and the finish was so damn smooth. I love that Bryan got the win and THEY’RE FEUDING! Oh God yes.

THERE WILL BE NO STOPPIN’. I will never, ever get tired of hearing that. This was fine, Slater bumpin’ around and Zeke bodyslamming. Finish seemed mistimed though. Anyway, I like the story, that after three weeks of beatdowns this time Zeke made his own save and cleared the ring, leaving Barrett thinking “F*ck.”

They advertised Kane vs Khali here and, I’m sorry, I couldnt do it. I’m sure it was an acceptable 2 minute big man battle, but I missed it. I did see, however, the aftermath, with Jinder coming out and the TURN HEARD ROUND THE WORLD. I liked the visual of Runjin standing there not seeing Khali about to VICE GRIP YOUR FACE TO DOOM behind him. Anyway, they got there. Now Khali is going to be a serious heel. Lol.

Booker laughing in Cole’s face was…weird. Kind of Asshole Babyfaceish, and pointless since it didnt go anywhere. Cole, by the way, ran through my patience in ONE SHOW, he was straight back to being the same annoying, heeling, bickering, kayfabe killing Cole he was a week ago and he can F*CK THE F*CKING HELL OFF.

I do have to say I really like the new gimmick of Striker as the backstage interviewer knocking on the dressing rooms and interviewing guys. Old school.

AJ is on TV! She turned me right around with the Naomi match so I’m excited. (Speaking of which, WHERE THE HELL IS NAOMI?!) I dig the idea that Nattie is taking the babyface rookies under her wing. This was fine, to be honest, AJ flew around and Kaitlyn…actually worked, and I dont even mind them losing like that because these little girls are rookies and Nattie can teach them something. Angle!

Main event was a fun three-way in a long line of fun WWE three-ways. This was truly a lot of fun. I laughed at Orton coming out halfway to interrupt just because, well, he could. And the finish was just so unbelievably perfect. Henry shoves Orton so Orton is all “Hey, f*ck you, BAMRKO” which inadvertantly costs Christian a pinfall and then Sheamus ends up pinning him. It was an accident, but…f*ck, you know? Anyone who thinks Sheamus winning means Christian is done needs to actually watch the shows. Plus, they’re advertising Sheamus/Orton for next week. So, look out for shenanigans.

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